Your Average Witch Podcast
A podcast by and about your average witch, talking about witch life, witch stories, and sometimes a little witchcraft.
Your Average Witch Podcast
Adventures in Spirituality and Creativity with Ken
What do you wish I asked this guest? What was your "quotable moment" from this episode?
Ever wondered how theism and atheism intersect within the realm of witchcraft? Join me and my husband, Ken, as we embark on a revealing exploration of our personal spiritual practices and the unique way they blend into our lives. Ken shares his creative journey with "The Gila Monster Rides," a YouTube channel where he delves into a plethora of interests. As we peel back the layers of Ken's family history, we uncover tales of practical resourcefulness, like his grandmother's famous sparrow pie, and discuss how these roots have influenced his embrace of the "witch" label and connection to a broader community.
Balancing spiritual practices with the chaos of daily life can be a challenge, but it’s one we dive into with gusto. Je reveals his two favorite rituals: a calming bedtime ceremony involving Florida water and prayers with the hum of a box fan, and a daily writing task inspired by The Artist's Way. These rituals have rekindled old passions and infused our lives with deeper meaning. We touch on decision-making, intuition, and the struggles of maintaining spiritual consistency amidst life's demands, all while navigating the occasional imposter syndrome within our witchcraft journey.
From hot sauce adventures to the transformative power of morning pages, our conversation is a candid and humorous exploration of how we infuse our spirituality into everyday experiences. I encourage you to check out our multimedia content on motorcycles, where cinematic flair meets education. Plus, there’s a tantalizing teaser about a memorable escapade in Colorado Springs that promises more laughs and insights. Tune in for engaging stories, thoughtful reflections, and a hearty dose of humor as we invite you into our unique world of spirituality and creativity.
Visit The Gila Monster Rides here!
The Gila Monster Rides
Lauren & Frank explore esotericism, intuition, psychic growth, healing, and bad jokes.
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This episode is a little different, in that I am very close with the person I'm talking to, both emotionally and physically. It's my husband Ken! We explore theism and atheism in witchcraft, talks about the importance of coughing up a bezoar, and he tells a story about a misadventure with a sub.
Now let's get to the stories!
Kimothy: 0:04
Welcome back to Your Average Witch, where every Tuesday we talk about witch life, witch stories, and sometimes a little witchcraft. This episode is a little different in that I am very close with the person I'm talking to, both emotionally and physically. It's my husband, Ken, and we recorded with a different sound setup, so I don't know how the audio quality is going to be. I think it's going to be fine. We explore theism and atheism in witchcraft, he talks about the importance of coughing up a bezoar, and he tells a story about a misadventure with a sub. Now let's get to the stories. Ken, welcome to the show.
Ken: 0:45
Thanks!
Kimothy: 0:50
Can you please introduce yourself and let everybody know who you are and what you do and where they can find you?
Ken: 0:54
Sure, although I'm not really sure how to introduce myself. My name's Ken and I am your husband. That's how probably most people are going to know me, because I do have some interaction with both in your groups and like the WBAH group.
Kimothy: 1:12
Bees and beans.
Ken: 1:14
Yeah, although I've never made it out to the Purpose or anything like that. I have a YouTube channel. That's like my newest thing and I have been sharing that in both groups, both, both little communities, and, that's my newest endeavor, but I don't know how to describe myself honestly as mainly a creator and I don't know. I've been into the medical field for a really long time, but also, like all kinds of different, I like to dabble. I have ADHD.
Kimothy: 1:53
You have ADHD. Just say that and they'll know.
Ken: 1:56
So I'm getting into all kinds of stuff and I'm often very obsessive. When I either get into something new or I rediscover something that I really enjoy, I kind of go full tilt. I'm just finally kind of like starting to learn what that means for me, as far as, like, I'm peeling back the layers of like okay, do I really do stuff? Why do I do the stuff that I do? And it's funny, after a lifetime of doing all of these things, like really starting to look at the kind of the underlying commonalities to some of it. So I'm a metalsmith and also, like I got into jewelry. I'm trained as a gunsmith. I love doing working with wood and metal.
Kimothy: 2:50
I'm hoping I can con you into making some stars for me later.
Ken: 2:56
We'll see about that. I still have to, I still have to come up with an episode for tomorrow for my youtube channel, which I actually didn't really finish talking about. I know, adhd. So it's called The Gila Monster Rides.
Kimothy: 3:13
And how can they find it?
Ken: 3:15
Go to youtube.com and look for The Gila Monster Rides. Gila is spelled G-I-L-A.
Kimothy: 3:25
It's also. There's also an Instagram account, that's true. What's that name?
Ken: 3:30
And there's actually a Facebook group, but or no? I'm sorry. There's a Facebook page, but hardly anybody's on it.
Kimothy: 3:38
I didn't know that. I'm not even on it.
Ken: 3:39
I know that's all. I'm bad at some aspects of this.
Kimothy: 3:44
And where can they find you again?
Ken: 3:46
On YouTube it's The Gila Monster Rides, and there's an Instagram page of the same name and a Facebook page of the same name.
Kimothy: 3:58
Cool. Do you call yourself a witch?
Ken: 4:01
I do now.
Kimothy: 4:02
Okay, because I was going to say this interview's over. Go out to the living room, I'm firing you.
Ken: 4:06
I wouldn't, you know, that's been another development in progress, or, I guess, accepting that that term for me.
Kimothy: 4:20
Do you have any family history with witchcraft? Did anything witchy, paranormal, supernatural witchy happen when you were younger?
Ken: 4:28
Yes and no, so I'm not really aware of any family history as far as like. I can really only go back as far as like my grandparents on both sides, but they were all catholic. So I mean, I kind of view catholicism is like the witchiest of yeah the christianity, you know, in that pyramid, but I don't remember anything very specific. I want to say maybe that my my's mom, though being like the farmer's housewife kind of thing, I want to say that she probably had practices that probably weren't really Catholicism approved. Well, but I mean as far as like how, like working on the farm, you know the food that she made from that, and it was very non would be considered very non-traditional today, you know, like, so this isn't particularly witchy, but I kind of lend into kind of what I mean as far as, like, I have a I know about a thing. Like I'm, I have only the vaguest of memories of it, but my brother and I have talked about it where my grandma made sparrow pies.
Kimothy: 5:55
I knew, I was wondering if this was going to come up!
Ken: 5:59
And so she would walk out of the house with a shotgun and out to the tree, like a lot of Kansas farms, they had trees real close to the house to provide shade and windbreak for the house. And she would just blast up into the tree with this 12-gauge shotgun and then gather up all the little birds that she had blown out of the tree and brought them inside, split them open, shucked the breasts off of them and baked it into a pie, like I don't know why, but like that feels like to me, something. Yeah, I mean, it's very practical, especially since they lived through the 30s my dad was born in, I think, 36.
Kimothy: 6:51
So she was around for the 20s.
Ken: 6:52
So they were around for the roaring 20s and the Depression and lived on a farm in the Midwest and really had to learn how to make do with what they had at hand.
Kimothy: 7:05
So let's come into the future. Do you have any regular slash consistent things? I know it's hard with ADHD and with our schedule, specifically your schedule to have a daily anything, but do you have anything consistent that you do?
Ken: 7:23
Yeah, well, mainly two things. I have a bedtime ritual that involves… it's kind of twofold or it's killing two birds with one stone in a way, and that's that I cleanse the bedroom with florida water and as a part of that, I don't know if this is going to sound really weird to anybody else, but I'll go through like my mental process about it. But we always turn on, we have a big box fan and one of my things is I will spray each blade of the box fan once.
Kimothy: 8:02
Before turning it on.
Ken: 8:03
Before turning it on. Yeah, otherwise I just blow it on myself, which I sometimes do anyway, purposely, but anyway, when it's off, I I spray each blade of the fan and and I'm comfortable using this word, I pray for something as I spray each blade of the fan, and it's usually, you know, things like… I'm praying for, or I'm well-wishing the, you know our, our family and loved ones for health, and then you know, I might get into some specifics, if there's something that's concerning for me. And then on the box fan there is a center round piece and I always spray that three times giving thanks for something specific. And it's often very much like I'll often do the same thing three times, but I might occasionally change that up to where I give thanks for several things. That way is, I always really love the idea of the Tibetan prayer flags, because the prayer is written on the flag and they're put up and as they wave they're supposed to carry the prayers off to where they need to go. And so I'll be doing our box fan and then I turn it on. It blows the scent of the Florida water not only over the room, but I feel like it's carrying it off to where those prayers need to go. So the second thing I do and it's often on my way to work because I need help just to get to work, often on my way to work because I need help just to get to work and make it through the day but it's evolved and part of it evolved because of doing The Artist's Way. So I made a very simple change to to an Artist's Way by Julie Cameron, and we had a group that kind of did it together-
Kimothy: 10:32
We being the bees.
Ken: 10:34
The, what am I trying to think of? Oh, so in it we're supposed to write an artist's prayer, and her example was like to me, it was God awful.
Kimothy: 10:41
Lots of her examples were. Emphasis on “god”.
Ken: 10:48
It was really long, very complicated. I'm like, and I'm thinking like I can't write anything like this because I'm never gonna remember it. So I just came up with a very simple line that I tacked on to the end of, I tend to do the Serenity Prayer a lot, and also what's called the third step prayer, and that's just asking the divine to help me become a better person, essentially.And but the way that I end that is that I ask for the divine to help me see the beauty in the world, and it's a good one, and I sometimes change the wording a little bit, but I ask for to see the beauty in the world and the ability to share it with others.
Kimothy: 11:43
I'm impressed with you right now. I didn't know you did that.
Ken: 11:46
Yeah, that's nice. I pretty much do that every day.
Kimothy: 11:48
That's good, I occasionally forget. But how would you say witchcraft has changed your life?
Ken: 11:55
What a crazy question, because I think in a main way, it's been a tool for me to explore other already present parts of my life or and rediscover things that experiences I had when I was younger, things I was interested in when I was younger. I had a very we'll probably get into that but I had a very long, I guess hiatus from doing anything witchy for a few probably a few decades, although I would think about it on occasion. Nut after starting to do some practices, I think it's reawakened things in how I will approach certain things. I know that's I feel like I'm vague posting with that, but it's hard to describe because I often can be what's the? I'm looking for a word. Once I make a decision, I often run with it, and I don't know if this is a Libra thing, I'm just guessing it is because of you know, mainly the symbol of Libra is. I weigh the shit out of different things before I make a decision. I weigh all the options a lot and I often go back and forth until I make a decision and then I run with it. So I've started using certain things like tarot and other other things to help me make decisions. I guess that's maybe the… divination. Thank you, I don't know why my brain wasn’t catching on that, but I seem to gravitate towards that a little bit now, whereas I'm not sure that I had an actual practice when I was younger, but that type of stuff came very naturally to me when I was young.
Kimothy: 14:02
What's the biggest motivator in your practice?
Ken: 14:06
I think the biggest motivator in my practice is a desire to be in touch with a greater reality, in that not to make a joke of it, but sort of like, use the force, Luke, but sort of like, I feel like for me there's a, there's a reality we don't see in the mundane. Right? There are things that most people can't see, they've forgotten how to see. Because of their, their chosen belief systems they don't see. But human beings have naturally survived, in part because we're very intuitive, and I think part of that intuitiveness is being in tune with how things work in the universe, or at least here on this planet, and I just want to get more in tune with that. You know, the people who made a decision to this is like a way big example, but like you know they knew that they didn't, they shouldn't get on that plane, or you know shouldn't stop at that store or whatever, only to find out later, you know, that they would have been involved in some sort of tragedy, like that sort of underlying thing that people can tap into. I think that's part of one of my main motivators and it's not about avoiding danger but just finding a better way to live, like how we interact with other people, how we go about business, how to apply that stuff to the mundane.
Kimothy: 15:50
What's your biggest struggle with your practice?
Ken: 15:59
Consistency, and so some of the things I did on a regular basis are sort of on hiatus because we don't have some of that stuff out. Like I used to light- I wasn't very consistent with it, but I would have streaks where I would make offerings and light candles and do a lot more regular things, and that's kind of something I would like to get back to.
Kimothy: 16:26
Yeah, we currently don't have a place for an altar, so we are both struggling in that way.
Ken: 16:32
And I think the other way that I struggle is that I have so little extra time and energy that, although I want to learn more, the time and energy thing is a stumbling block for me, in that I end up pushing off learning more about witchcraft in lieu of-
Kimothy: 16:49
Doing your laundry.
Ken: 16:53
Yeah. Other things, yeah. Editing a new YouTube video. Going shopping, doing my laundry, food prep, that kind of thing, like. There's several books that I have started that are now just sitting on my phone waiting for me to pick them back up again, or even physical books here in the house that I've read the first chapter but put it down.
Kimothy: 17:30
Do you have a problem with imposter syndrome or self-doubt about it?
Ken: 17:36
Witchcraft kind of, because sometimes I feel like I'm sort of I have the imposter syndrome, in that I look at myself sometimes and I recognize my interest in it, but because I'm not as knowledgeable and I don't there's a lot of things I don't do every day, you know. I feel like living with you, and and most of the people you know- I'm… it's kind of like living in the shadows kind of thing, where I'm interested, but I wish I had more time to focus on it and was more involved, and so that kind of plays into some self-talk of like, oh, you're not really that. But then I look back on my history, back into like my teens, you know, and I was doing things that you hadn't even known about, and it's kind of weird. Sometimes you look back and you're like well, what happened to that person?
Kimothy: 18:40
What is something you did early on that you don't do anymore, and why don't you do it? [cat meows]Hmm, we have cats. We have six freaking cats, and they all want to come in this room because the door's closed.You may hear them again.
Ken: 18:53
As maybe a late teen was, I started using, because I didn't have a drum and you know, my tape Walkman tape recorder. Walkman was much more portable. I used to go out into nature a lot in Colorado like go hiking and listen to drumming tapes, and I got into this whole shamanic journey thing. You know, it's kind of like you can liken it to a meditation while you're listening to the drumming tape being out in nature and that was very, very, very interesting in nature and that was very, very, very interesting. However, at some point I stopped doing that stuff and I haven't picked it back up again, although I actually did go make a drum. This year back in July I went to a class about making a drum or you know like we all made our own drums and there's a little bit I have yet to complete on that, including the striker. I haven't made that part, but I no longer have a drumming tape. I'm sure I can find it on YouTube or something like that, but that's something that I had to really pick back up again, although I do will occasionally go out and just sit in nature and maybe bring some herb with me to burn, and kind of when I want to ask for help. I've done that in recent years. That seems somewhat related, even though it's not the same thing.
Kimothy: 20:46
What is your favorite magical tool? It doesn't have to be an actual physical thing. It can be like a song or some scented oil or whatever. What is it? How do you use it?
Ken: 20:58
Well, I think the most frequent, and so definitely my favorite, is the Florida water, because it's this is something I didn't talk about earlier when we were talking about any daily practices is that the smell of it. I guess you would call that an aromatherapy type thing, but it is almost an instant calming thing to me to smell Florida water and because I'm doing it it might not be the exact same time every day, but because it's setting a particular phase of my day, it helps me keep a rhythm and I love the smell of it. I also, even though I'm bad at consistency, I do like tarot overall as a tool because I'm learning more about that and I'm also learning that, like, when I ask things, when I approach the deck with real intention of what I'm asking, I get super specific answers. And that's kind of a new thing for me, because when I was younger I often kind of looked at tarot as something the answers you got were so vague it could apply to anything that kind of thing, if you know what I mean so I never really took it very seriously. But in the last couple of years I've gotten such specific answers very regularly that I'm like I don't know if I'm becoming more in tune or just I'm getting more specific and centered in how I approach it.
Kimothy: 22:43
So a lot of people say they work with a spirit team. Who do you work with? Who do you ask for help?
Ken: 22:52
Oh man, that's a.. that is a tough one because I don't really work with any. Well, hold up. Let me back up, because the way I want to word that is I don't really work with any deities. But that's not true.
Kimothy: 23:10
So you don't consider yourself atheist?
Ken: 23:12
No, I definitely don't consider myself an atheist. Okay, I do believe in higher beings and-
Kimothy: 23:21
Do you believe in gods? I believe in higher beings too, but I still think I'm atheist.
Ken: 23:25
For me there's a gray area, and I think it's to some degree word semantics, me too. What some people call a god, other people might just think of as a higher being or not believe in at all.
Kimothy: 23:43
Witches though.
Ken: 23:44
Hmm, witches, well, like, let's pick one out.
Kimothy: 23:47
A witch or a higher being, like Jupiter?
Ken: 23:53
Yeah, exactly, that's exactly where I was going to go with Jupiter.
Kimothy: 23:59 Because we both worked with Jupiter together, I don't consider Jupiter a god.
Ken: 24:05
And my belief around Jupiter is a little ambiguous. I don't have a very solid belief or disbelief. It's very vague for me. I'm open to the idea that there is this entity out there that is Jupiter.
Kimothy: 24:19
Okay, so do you think that the Romans, the Romans considered him a god, right? Do you consider him to be a god of Rome? Because I don't. I have considered Jupiter to be a higher being that accepted godhood from, and god worship from, the Romans. But I don't think Jupiter is a god. I just think it's a higher being who's like all right, just like if the dog brings me a freaking, I don't know something he finds in the yard, I might take it. But that doesn't make me a god, I'm just like okay, sure.
Ken: 24:53
Crow brings you an offering. Yeah, when I look back in history with some of these things because the Romans weren't the only people to worship Jupiter, that's just their name for him I mean, you can look back.
Kimothy: 25:03
Zeus.
Ken: 25:04
Yeah, there was Zeus, because the Romans adopted the Greek gods and just had Latin. They had a different language and adapted, had Latin. They had a different language. But you also find essentially the same character in other areas too, Not just those. The king, god yeah, Not just those two places. So I don't know we're going to like. I feel like this could be a real weird rabbit hole. This could be a real weird rabbit hole, but as far as what I work with, if we want to bring it back to the question…
Kimothy: 25:49
I've forgotten the question. It's not one, it's a surprise question that I just thought of while we were talking, so I can't even go look it up. What is the question?
Ken: 25:45
Well, you asked me who my spirit team is.
Kimothy: 23:56
Okay, yeah, who's your spirit team? That's where we are.
Ken: 26:00
And so.
Kimothy: 26:02
This is why I have the questions written down y'all.
Ken: 26:06
I think my spirit team consists of a main higher power which, to me, changes how I look at it and what I call it and how I think of it, changes over time and sometimes goes back to like older ways of how I think about it and biblical.
Kimothy: 26:30
God, or an amorphous sort of universal blob?
Ken: 27:05
I think more along those lines. You know, sometimes I will call it God, sometimes I call it the Great Spirit, sometimes I call it the universe. I do a ton of ancestry work but I and some of it doesn't even really fall into quite like literal ancestor work, but I do ask for, I try to work with, I try to ask for help and work with, like some of my relatives that have passed with, like some of my relatives that have passed. I occasionally ask for help or guidance from my middle school art teacher who passed a few years ago. I have… is invoke quite the right word?
Kimothy: 27:37
I don't know. I have to hear the context.
Ken: 27:38
Oh, maybe I'm using it incorrectly but ask for guidance from local historical people that have passed.
Kimothy: 27:45
Like who.
Ken: 27:47
Well, like, I went down to Cochise Stronghold and I asked for help from Cochise and Geronimo as far as I was trying to figure out a direction. I was feeling very burned out in life when I did it and was asking for, you know, some real general direction help. And I think I got it, because I feel like I'm on a much more clear path. Not that it wasn't completely concealed from me at the time, but I feel much more cemented on my path Confident, yeah than I was. So, being that I live in the Southwest and I was essentially born in the Southwest, I like the idea of trying to use the nature and some of the spirits around me that had a lasting impact on the area.
Kimothy: 28:52
The genius loci. Yeah, me too, which is why I'm sad our saguaro died.
Ken: 28:57
Yeah, dying.
Kimothy: 28:59
It's dead. It's just a zombie. How do you pull yourself out of a magical slump?
Ken: 29:01
I have no idea.
Kimothy: 29:03
Me too. I just let it wallow in it until it goes away.
Ken: 29:10
I think the main way is through my daily prayer. Just keep doing what you do, yeah, and eventually things change. That makes sense, you know, as long as like getting through a breakup, yeah, and I think that that's often that's my approach to working through lots of different difficult periods of my life is or in. Something that I want to work on about myself is, as long as I put in some effort every day, things change.
Kimothy: 29:44
Do you have advice for someone just starting out in their practice?
Ken: 29:48
I think the only really advice I have is similar to what I would tell anybody getting into anything new to anything new and that would be it's kind of a catch-22, is get involved in the community but don't listen to everybody, because, just like many other areas of life, you can get bad advice, and I think one of the best ways to kind of navigate that is to really listen to your heart. And for me, a big thing is I like I pay attention to the people who don't Let me start that over. I like drawing inspiration from the people in the community that I see walking the walk and I realize that everybody can make mistakes, misspeak, things like that. But it's real important for me to when I'm learning from someone is that it's not just a sense of that they know what they're doing, but that I don't see inconsistencies between what that person says and what they do. I don't know that's not very good advice, but I mean it's so generalistic I don't know. I don't know what the fuck to do with that question.
Kimothy: 31:15
Who do you think I should have on the show?
Ken: 31:20
I don't know, because you're so much more connected into the witch community that I can't come up with someone you haven't thought of or already had on the show.
Kimothy: 31:34
Is there anything else you wanted to bring up? Anything you have going on? Is there anything you wanted to ask me?
Ken: 31:40
Well, I would like to encourage everyone to check out thegilamonsterrides.com. That will bring you to a linktree where you can check out the youtube channel, the instagram and the main web page for the YouTube channel. Not every video is just about motorcycle parts and what I'm putting on what bike. Some of it's very cinematic. I have a couple videos out there, like riding around Saguaro National Park and down Mount Lemmon, that are very cinematic, and I think I'd like to do more of that type of stuff. So I'm trying to put in a little bit for everybody.
Kimothy: 32:29
My favorite video is the one about the crested saguaro, which, if you don't know about crested saguaros, go watch it because they're freaking cool, and that is thegilamonsterrides.com. Click below in the show notes. So the last two things I ask of guests. Thing number one recommend something to the listeners.
Ken: 32:53
Oh man, this is a good one and it goes back into the tools and I'm very sad that I've put this tool down. I really need to get back into using this daily tool. And that is the morning pages. I knew you were going to say that yes, it's been brought up on your show before. I know it probably depends a little bit on what kind of person you are.
Kimothy: 33:18
I'm the kind of person that hates them, but I have seen the difference it makes in you and other people.
Ken: 33:25
My God, it is such a good thing, good tool to use. I am such a much more put together individual when I can take the hurricane that's happening inside my head day in and day out and over three handwritten pages, and I think that's really important. There's like real neuroscience behind the importance of handwriting over like typing digital. It really helps, clarify, it gets things out of my head and onto paper and I can see them in black and white and I often get very, I get all kinds of things, but sometimes it's like real inspirational or I just get the best ideas that come out on paper. That come out on paper and sometimes I, what comes out on the on paper I call bezoar, and if you don't know what a bezoar is, and I don't think actually these kind of animals can cough those up, so this is a little bit of a misnomer, yeah, so if you don't know what that is, hoofed animals like Goats, antelope goats, I think even cows and horses can get them.
Kimothy: 34:49
Cloven hoofed animals. I think even other three-toed like horses, have three toes. I didn't know horses could get them.
Ken: 34:57
I don't know that for sure, but I know lots of hoofed animals can get them and it's basically the hair that they eat is like dirt minerals. All of this stuff that they can't digest gets stuck in their stomach and eventually becomes this stone like a calcified. Yeah, it's a calcified rock, right, and I have this philosophical kind of idea about, you know, a lot of my experiences and things that I suppress because I'm someone who normalizes things to a pretty good extreme. And anyway, a lot of those experiences that I choose not to look at, I feel like, end up calcifying inside of me somewhere and occasionally, when I'm doing morning pages, I'll cough up one of those suckers and it feels horrible. But once it's out on paper and I can read it, I see it in black and white. There's healing behind it and there's a lot of things that can happen around that, whether it's forgiving myself, forgiving somebody else, or just reframing how I've thought of something, or realize that something was actually messed up when I've normalized it in the past. There's a whole lot of stuff that can go on when that particular thing happens to me. And there's other days I'm writing, I don't know what to write. I don't know what to write. I don't know what to write until I cough out some really interesting ideas of some things I want to do or a way I'm going to approach a problem that I have at the time, something I'm trying to solve. Sometimes it just ends up being a to-do list. But the importance of getting that stuff out on the paper makes a huge difference.
Kimothy: 37:01
Okay, I don't enjoy morning pages at all, but I will agree that mine usually does become a to-do list. But I actually have gotten some pretty good ideas towards the end of the to-do list, so I also recommend it. I just don't enjoy it at all, but you should do it. And so the last thing that I ask of guests is tell me a story.
Ken: 37:26
Oh, good Lord.
Kimothy: 37:28
It doesn't matter if I already know the story. They don't know the story.
Ken: 37:32
I know, okay. I'm just trying to think of like-
Kimothy: 37:34
Don't tell the Culvers story though.
Ken: 37:37
Well, now everybody's going to wonder.
Kimothy: 37:39
I know. If you want to know the Culvers story, write in and I'll have him, we will tell the Culvers story together because it involved both of us. If you want to know the Culver's story, then find this post on Instagram or Facebook or send me an email, and if we get 10 people to say hey, tell us the Culver's story, then we will.
Ken: 38:05
So I don't remember certain parts of this story, but this was when we were living in Pueblo and we had gone up to Colorado Springs for something. You needed to go up to Colorado Springs and you, I dropped you off somewhere and I was supposed to come back and pick you up when you were done. And for those who don't know me, I am known as kind of a chile head. I like hot peppers I know where I'm going to remember this and I really like really hot food. I like hot sauce and you know I like chile, different chile powders and stuff like that. And so, like I said, this was when we were living in Pueblo and I had been there were, a friend of mine who was constantly sending us really hot chili powders and hot sauces. I had developed a wicked tolerance to capsaicin, like I could eat intolerable amounts of hot sauce or not amounts actually. So that's a key, that's a very key point to the story. I was able to tolerate really high- What's the measurement?
Kimothy: 39:29
Scovilles.
Ken: 39:29
Yeah, Scovilles. In fact. My friend Jim had even sent me a compote that he made from the boiled down of the three hottest peppers on Earth at the time, and it was like the chunks that were left after he poured off the sauce.
Kimothy: 39:52
Is that Don't Be A Damn Fool?
Ken: 39:53 yeah, it was called don't be a damn fool because it was meant to, like you, take a quarter teaspoon of it and add it to an entire pot of chili, kind of thing, and I was using it as a hot dog condiment, however, so we drive up to Colorado Springs, which is about 45 minutes, I guess, from Pueblo, if we speed, huh.
Kimothy: 40:20
If you speed, if you speed and there's no asshole parade going on, then I think you can get there in like half an hour. Either way.
Ken: 40:30
Well at least from like the northern edge to the southern edge, you know, but I really don't remember what you were doing that day.
Kimothy: 30:34
I think I got off work early, which was why I was so mad that it took you so long.
Ken: 40:40
Well, while I was waiting for Kim to get off work, I went to Firehouse Subs and I got myself a nice big Italian grinder sub sandwich, kind of thing, and I went over to their hot sauce counter, which they have or had and have recently brought back, and I was really excited because there was a hot sauce on the rack that I had recognized from the hot ones on youtube, and that was the what was it called 357 magnum what it was, that or is it was like… Whatever the number, but that's why-
Kimothy: 41:26
I was thinking the death number.
Ken: 41:30
Yeah, it was supposed to be 357,000 Scoville. Okay, yeah. And it was like a habanero-based sauce. I'm used to eating way hotter, so I pull the top off and I stupidly don't look at the top of the bottle, because-
Kimothy: 41:46
She ain't got no shaker top.
Ken: 41:48Right, there's no shaker top to it. I wasn't expecting that. And I just douse my entire sandwich with like half the bottle of hot sauce and I look at it and I'm like fuck. I keep looking at it and I think, oh, you know, I'll just scrape a little bit of it off, and it's only 357,000 scoville.
Kimothy: 42:10
What's the worst that could happen?
Ken: 42:13
Yeah, that's going to be on my gravestone is fuck it. He said, fuck it. What's the worst that could happen? And I eat this whole sandwich. I just devour it and about. I didn't even think 10 minutes later and by this point I'm drinking soda, pretty, pretty heavy because it's burning and my stomach is just on fire and I'm thinking what the hell like? I know it was a lot of hot sauce, but it's not as strong as a lot of the stuff I eat. Well, I confused quality for quantity and however many molecules of capsaicin I took in was far more than I'm used to. It was too many. It was too many. It just wasn't concentrated and I ended up having to go to the bathroom and blew it up.Both ways. I started throwing up and shitting Like alternatively.
Kimothy: 43:16
It's the old musical chairs with the toilet.
Ken: 43:20
Yeah, for about ten minutes and I come out, I get another drink and the restaurant was pretty much empty because it was like late afternoon and the fucking staff is chuckling away. I think I ended up going back into the bathroom like two or three more times and Kim's texted me that she's ready for me to come pick her up from wherever. And at this point I'm also shaking, like I'm at neurotoxic level poisoning from capsaicin. But I get in the car. I'm kind of like got the jitters, I'm shaking, I'm sweating, I have like I feel cold.
Kimothy: 44:06
I don't know what's going on, by the way, I'm just mad because I'm waiting and I got off early and I'm like the fuck, I could have just worked.
Ken: 44:13
And I drove towards wherever I was picking you up I guess work and I had to pull over on the side of the interstate because I was having another, just like I felt like I was going to pass out.
Kimothy: 44:28
Try not to die moment.
Ken: 44:30
Yeah, a try not to die moment. I really felt I was poisoned. Yeah, I literally poisoned myself.
Kimothy: 44:38
Yep, I've been there.
Ken: 44:41
Anyway, let that pass. Go pick up, kim. I think I had to come sit down Mm-hmm Wherever he. Yeah, I think I had to come sit down Mm-hmm Wherever he. Yeah, see, why do I also think somehow that the like Pikes Peak Animal Rescue was involved somehow?
Kimothy: 44:57
I have no idea. Oh, I think because we were trying to go there and we couldn't.
Ken: 45:01
No, I know because we had brought a dog, I think, to get something done. I don't know. It's too vague in my memory now and all I really remember is getting poisoned to death.
Kimothy: 45:14
I just remember being mad because I was stuck at work and I was like where is my husband?
Ken: 45:18
Yeah, so as soon as we get there, I'm like you're going to have to drive the entire way, because I poisoned myself and I really felt like absolute shit for like two days.
Kimothy: 45:32
Yeah.
Ken: 45:33
I felt like I had the flu, yeah, and so it took me a while to start eating hot stuff again, like probably a couple of weeks only. I have been super careful since then, then, so don't confuse quality with quantity.
Kimothy: 45:56
Well, thank you for talking to me and being on the show.
Ken: 46:02
You're welcome.
Kimothy: 46:03
Everybody click the link below, go visit thegilamonsterrides.com, look at some good ass motorcycles and some pretty desert footage and I will see you on Instagram. Okay, bye.
Ken: 46:15
Bye!
Kimothy: 46:17
Honey.
Ken: 46:18
What?
Kimothy: Welcome to Hive House.
Ken: 46:20
What's happening?
Kimothy: 46:22
It's raining. Is it? Mm-hmm? It's been raining. It started raining earlier and I smelled it, but I didn't want to interrupt you to tell you. What is your favorite quote?
Ken: 46:32
My favorite quote is whenever you're faced with a choice between life or death, choose death.
Kimothy: 46:42
I don't agree with that. (fades out)
(fades in) What is the bread?
Ken: 46:43
That's my body, it's a Sonoran hot dog and sriracha is my blood.
Kimothy: 46:50
Oh my god, all right (fades out)
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