6 Months Later: Revisiting Anahata's Purpose

It's been six months since I attended the life-changing event called Anahata's Purpose. Listen as 11 witches share their memories and learn how the experience continues to affect their lives.

Be sure to go buy your tickets to this year's event, happening in September 2022 near Philadelphia, PA. Receive a listener discount by using code AVGWITCH22 at checkout!

Transcript

Welcome back to Your Average Witch, where we talk about witch life, witch stories, and sometimes a little witchcraft, on the full and new moons every month. This is a special episode. You'll hear from 11 witches who attended Anahata's Purpose in 2021, and learn how it continues to affect their lives six months later. If you haven't listened to my first episode about this, recorded at the event, definitely go check it out. It's the Mabon episode from season one. Hopefully it'll get you excited enough to go buy tickets, which are finally available to purchase over at AnahatasPurpose.com. Be sure to get your listener discount by using code AVGWITCH22 when you check out. I recommend staying in the cabins. 
And before I get to the guests, I'm going to be answering these questions myself, which is fair because I actually attended the event. My most clear memory... my most clear memory is sitting, I think it was the first night that we had the beanfire, and I was on the bench facing my cabin and Lera was next to me. I don't remember who was next to her. Charlye and Macy were sitting down in front of us between the bench and the fire. Coco was to my right, very close to the fire. She had some palo santo and there was a warm glow from the fire, this sort of reddish light. I could see everybody's faces and everybody was happy and I just listened to all the different conversations happening around the fire and that was so great. 
What is something you wanted to bring back but didn't? I wish I had gotten some sort of merch. And some more TastyKakes. But there were cool things in the shop that I didn't get. Like the little store that's there? And I didn't get anything. Partly because I was only have one suitcase and it was very full. 
How have you implemented what you've learned from Anahata's Purpose in your life now? I would say I'm more open. I am more communicative. I talk to people who I don't live with. I talk to them very nearly every day with my actual mouth. I talk to them on Marco. I'm also more determined to get back to Anahata's Purpose. So I'm sort of driven to actually work on my business, and work on this podcast, because I want it to be a success, because I want to do the things I want to do. Which is- go to Anahata's Purpose!  
Do I feel like it's easier to communicate more openly now after ever having been in that environment? Yes. Sort of. to communicate with a variety of people because I came out of that environment where everything was safe and it was okay. And now we're kind of back to... you kinda gotta be careful. But I am more willing to try. Am I going back this year? 
What are you most excited about? Hell yes I'm going back. And I'm most excited to be with Beans, and to give Charlye a hug, and to be around my people, and to sit in that river. And if you are on the fence about going and that's because you are nervous about going someplace by yourself, you don't have a friend to go with you... If it's, if that's the reason and if it's not monetary- if it's monetary, then that's your reason. But if it's because you're nervous about going someplace by yourself, don't let that stop you. Probably more than half of us went by ourselves, but we all left as part of this little family that developed up on Sky Hill. So you are welcome, you are welcome, we want you to come join us. So you should definitely come to have community and have this really life-changing thing happen to you, your heart will be opened. And now I'm going to let everyone else tell you their version of this story. 

Kim: Hello Charlye. 

Charlye: Hello Kim, how are you? I'm hot because I'm in my closet. 

Charlye: She's hot. 

Kim: Would you please tell me your most clear memory of Anahata's Purpose? 

Charlye: Oh my goodness. Okay, it comes down to a couple of things. If we're talking about not anything life impacting, it was just... this clear memory I have is every morning going to get coffee. I can't tell you why. It was this ritualistic thing, and I'd get up in the morning, I'd go to get coffee and then you got to hang out outside with everybody, Beans or Not Beans. It was a good time to just sort of talk about your day and what classes you were going to go to and stuff like that. But if we're talking about memory, memory memories, it had to be the bean fire with everyone, everyone except us, singing Bohemian Rhapsody so beautifully. And me in the background absolutely losing it, choking on a snack. But it was still a beautiful moment. 

Kim: I'm sorry. I'm still sorry. 

Kim: I really, I really don't want you to be sorry. You always say sorry and I don't want you to be sorry because it, to me, it couldn't happen any other way. That's the memory that I want. It's the memory I left with. 

Kim: What is something you wanted to bring back but didn't? 

Charlye: Oh gosh! You know, I didn't know prior to going to Anahata's, and I should have, but I didn't. I didn't know there were going to be vendors. So I didn't know that there were going to be people there selling their wares and whatnot. So I think that I would have probably liked to come home with some more of that, some handcrafted goodies. But outside of that, the, oh goodness, this is going to showcase what an absolute loser of a podcast host I am. But the flower that you pointed out to me that I did in the live show as my topic, the, you know, the one, you touch it and it pops?

Kim:  Jewelweed. 

Charlye: What is it? 

Kim: Jewelweed. 

Charlye: Thank you! I'm a professional, I swear. 

Kim: I'm a nerd. 

Charlye: The Jewelweed, I did think about getting one and pressing it. However, because we came in in an airplane and there's always so many rules about transferring like, plant life across state lines... I got scared. But if I could change one thing, I probably would have pressed and brought back a jewel weed flower. 

Kim: How have you implemented what you learned from Anahata's in your life now? 

Charlye: Practically, I have implemented a lot of the basics of belly dance from one of the classes that I believe was- 

Kim: Charlye, I love you! I'm so proud of you!

Charlye: Well, I found that it, I don't know if this is a thing, but it really helped with some of my lower back pain. So I find myself all through the day, multiple times a day, doing the movements and trying to really separate that lower body from the upper body, separating the rib cage, and doing all these moves and trying to do them as close to how the instructor told us to do them. And it's been a great help. But if we're talking cosmically, if we're talking big picture, I have been very open to, I guess, going with the flow of things. Because prior to showing up at Anahata's, I had looked at the schedule and I had mapped out my perfect schedule. 
I was gonna wake up, go to this class, go to this class, have lunch, go to three more classes, and then have the bon pit fire or whatever, or the, what is it called? Bonfire? Whatever. And it didn't quite work out that way for multiple reasons. And I found that I kind of went where I was called to go at the time. And rolling with the flow, or rolling with the punches, is something I struggle with. And I feel like it's been less of an issue since then. And it's another thing that I'm looking forward to this year is kind of just showing up and letting the lessons that I need to learn happen to me, versus me trying to control them. 

Kim: We need a snack date too. 

Charlye: Listen.

Kim:  I'm listening.

Charlye: I feel like we could compile a crafted list of snacks. 

Kim: *gasps* Do you want to? Oh my god, we can lay out a fucking banquet at the Bean Fire!

Charlye: Okay shut your mouth. Now you're talking.

Kim: My fucking patrons will have cars! 

Charlye: DUUUUUUUDE!!

Kim: You'll have a car! Fuuuuuuuck

Charlye: I think everyone needs to bring their personal favorite snack but also a maybe like a local snack. 

Kim: YES.

Charlye: Something that you think 

Kim: A fucking TastyKake. 

Charlye: Yeah, yeah!

Kim: And cheesecake. And goddamn subs.

Charlye:  I'll bring a cherry mash or some other small-town, Texas ass candy. 

Kim: Oh You know I can bring... I can bring my um... what is that pink shit that hurts you? 

Charlye: I don't know. 

Kim: Prickly pear.

Charlye: "The pink shit that hurts you." Got it. 

Kim: Some of this shit's getting cut out by the way. 

Charlye: Love it. A+ for editing, man. 

Kim: Now I'm sure you agree that Anahatas felt more safe, like it was a safe environment. Do you feel like it's easier to communicate now that you have experienced that? 

Charlye: I think so. Ultimately, I forget exactly what it was called, but Facing the Shadow or Confronting the Shadow, something along those lines. I know there was a lot of buzz around that particular class while we were there. Everyone was like, "Oh, you ready to cry? Let's cry." But while I was there, I definitely, openly spoke out loud, in front of friends as well as strangers, some very deep personal stuff. And after you do that, everything else doesn't feel like it's so big. So I think I've definitely had an easier time communicating since then. I feel like I've put out the rawest part of myself and granted, it was in a very, like you said, a safe and accepting place. But it also made me realize that it's okay to be vulnerable, and maybe that's cheesy, but that's what I walked away with. 

Kim: So you're going back this year, what are you most excited for? 

Charlye: Oh god, I can't even tell you. It is such a different experience going back for the second year in a row. I can't wait for subsequent years and being able to form a more solid answer to your question, but for like the second year, all I have to compare it to is my first year.

And my first year, I had nothing to compare it to. So the second year, I can only tell you what I look forward to is the camaraderie. I cannot wait to see the Beans. I cannot wait to have more bean fires. I can't wait to go to the river. And there are so many things that I didn't do last year that I want to do. I didn't get in the river. I remember you in the river and I was like, "God damn it! Why didn't I join Kim?" You extended your hand to me and everything, and you were like, "Let's cry in the river," and I didn't do it. I don't know why. I was like, "Oh I don't have my swimsuit." Fuck it! This year I can't wait to get into the river and just have that experience, and just experience the things that I didn't do last time. Because it's so much. It's sensory overload, and this year I can kind of curate what I want. Of course, there's the plethora of classes that I'm looking forward to, and I can't wait until they're all announced and, and we can look forward to them and everything, but outside of the classes the things I look to look forward to the most is spending time at the river with the Beans. Spending time at the fire with the Beans. And again, I hate to harp on it, but that morning cup... well for me morning is like 10 o'clock in the morning, but that morning cup of coffee in like the mess hall is so special. And that's really, really, really what I'm looking forward to. 

Kim: Also Beans.

Beans, Beans, Beans, dude. 

Kim: Maybe Beans. 

Charlye: Oh, beads? 

Kim: I think it's some Beans. 

Charlye: Oh, I thought you said beads. I was like "Am I high?" No, Beans for sure. Beans for sure. And it blows it blew my mind last year, how many people were Beans and had the special wristband that showed that they were a Bean and how you would just be having a conversation with someone and then you would notice they had the Bean wristband on, you know and you kind of got that moment to be *excited noise* "One of us, one of us!" And yeah, I'm really glad to just have a like a stone-cold pack of weird Beans again to just hang out with and be a family with. 

Kim: Now that you've had time to think about it, why would you recommend other people come? 

Charlye: Oh my god, that's a tough question, Kim. Recommend other people come. So first of all, the sense of cameraderie. Whether or not you're a Bean or just somebody who is interested in the spiritual side, or the... god, however you want to phrase it, the more woo side of things. I don't know how you want to put it, but just the camaraderie of being around people who are accepting, and who are similar to you. I've never felt more comfortable in a space. And I am somebody who can very easily get overwhelmed. Sensory overload, I can get overloaded by people, overwhelmed by things, you know, and I can get anxious very easily. And if you're in the middle of say a Walmart or something, it's not like everyone around you understands what's going on, but like at this place I feel like you could very easily kind of be your authentic self and other people understood exactly what was going on. And I don't mean to make it like that. You know, I mean, there's obviously... What was the question? 

Kim: Why should they come? 

Charlye: Why should they come? Sorry. You know, sometimes you go off on a tangent and you just forget?

Kim:  Yep. I do that every day, like 20,000 times in therapy. 

Charlye: But yeah, like the accepting camaraderie to me was, is absolutely number one. There are so many people that I see on Facebook talking about, oh, I wish I could go, but I'm alone. You know. And just having seen the other people who came alone last year and then they left a part of a group, or a part of a family, or having, even if they just met one person that they get to be friends with now, is very heartwarming. So I would say the camaraderie is number one. However, the adult, grown-up, sleep-away camp vibes cannot be beat. It's just another world when you go to Anahata's. And I love it. I can't wait for it. 

Kim: Me too. Well, thanks for talking to me. 

Charlye: Absolutely! It was a joy. 

Kim: Oh yay. 

Charlye: Oh yay! 

*sound of phone notification*

Kim: Hey, I brought you this stuff. Let me get my phone out of my pocket. Damn it. 

Charlye: Hey, Kim. 

Kim: Yes. 

Charlye: Has anyone asked you what you're looking forward to? 

Kim: *pauses* No! Nobody asks me questions, except for that last podcast I did. 

Charlye: Well, I'm asking you right right now, right here right now. Tell me what are you looking forward to about Anahata's Purpose? 

Kim: Tasty Kakes, the river, and the bean fire, and meeting my patrons. And hanging out with you! I want to give you a big ol' hug. 

Charlye: Oh my gosh.

Kim: No one else! 

Charlye: *boisterous laughter* Yes. 

Kim: No one else can touch me. 

Charlye: "Here's my very short approved list of people who I will hug." Same. Same. Well, thank you for having me on. It was a pleasure. 

Kim: Thank you. And I will see you in September. 

Charlye: Kisses. 

Kim: Bye. 

Charlye: Bye.

Kim: Hi, Rachel. Welcome back. 

Rachel: Hi, thanks for having me. 

Kim: Would you please tell me your most clear memory from Anahata's Purpose? Even if it's not related to a class or anything specific, that's like official.

Rachel:  I have a few, which is actually kind of weird because it does turn into like a big haze for me sometimes. But one was definitely when we were, there's the witch group, we were all down by the water and I was just blubbering, crying, thanking everyone for coming and giving them candles to write sigils into. That was an amazing, amazing moment for me and I just loved it seeing a bunch of the community there. Another memory I've had was running from the bonfire up on Skyhill Cabins, and running as fast as I could down to the main stage because the band was playing my favorite song and getting all out of breath. 

Kim: I love that. 

Rachel: And I had this crazy like robe, like silk robe, long robe thing on. So I just looked like a bat. And I was just running down because I was, and I was trying to get people to come down, but it was just, my song came on and I was like, nope, I gotta go dance. And that was just so much fun because I was just dodging people. They were like, what is she doing running like that? Canoeing and kayaking. Those are really special moments for me. And my team, each night we would get together in our lodge and just laugh. Oh, we would just like recap the day and we would just be laughing hysterically, talking about all things. It's like we had the sleepy ha-has for four days straight. Seriously, it was crazy. We were just non-stop giggling all the time and it was just phenomenal. I had so many beautiful one-on-one experiences with my team. Jess, who I feel like Anahata's would just fall apart if it wasn't for Jess. We had a really great moment that we shared in the cabin where we played guitar and sang to each other. 

Kim: Oh no.

Rachel: Which is just something that, yeah I know, which is like not, you just cringed, yeah. But we did, we played like our song, like Sloane's song, guitar to each other. I don't know, we were just like hanging out, we had a couple moments to chill, and the guitar was there because there was a bunch of instruments in our lodge and just picked it up and I was like, all right. Yeah, I don't think for anybody but I'm gonna sing for you right now.  I'm gonna serenade ya. It was just great though, like great authentic moments There's just a few. That's a few.

Kim:  What is something that you wanted to bring back and didn't and you wish you had?

Rachel:  To Anahata's? Like for, from Anahata's? 

Kim: From Anahata's.

Rachel: Oh, from Anahata's.

There's a lot of products I wish I would have bought from our vendors. I wish I brought a lot of that back. 

Kim: You know what Theresa said? 

Rachel: What? 

Kim: She said she wished she had gotten rocks from the river because she didn't. 

Rachel: I don't think I have rocks from the river. 

Kim: I have pockets full. 

Rachel: I'm sure. Yeah. I know that I have some rocks from the property, but they're not specifically from the river. I wish I would have brought back more, like more attendees. Like their contact information. Because I'm not just going to like randomly hit up people and like email them, but I wish that I would have, even though I'm not always on social media, but I wish I would have gotten more people's social media accounts and things like that. Because I've just, I've had such a great connection with attendees over the years, and I just love the people that show up so much that I want to know them all. So that is definitely something I wish I would have gotten: more people's information without being a creep. 

Kim: How have you implemented what you learned from Anahata's in your life today? 

Rachel: It kind of steers me completely, to be honest. Each year there's kind of these themes that happen. And I think for me, the main thing was the amount of vulnerability and freedom that was shown this year compared to years prior. Not saying that years prior people weren't being vulnerable, but the fact that, you know, we had legit nudity, which in my mind is the biggest compliment to Anahata's Purpose ever, because people felt safe enough to do that. But I think what the community exuded in their amount of vulnerability, and how comfortable they were becoming with themselves, has inspired me, and has kept me doing that also. I feel myself, like over the years of Anahata's, each one I'm obviously always open to any suggestions in all things, and I wanted to be a different feel a little bit each year. But I feel like I'm a little bit more sure of the direction that it goes in each year. And in that, it's kind of, I feel that way with my life. So really just, it steers me. 

Kim: Do you feel like it's easier to communicate more openly now after having been in that environment that gave you a safe space to be vulnerable? 

Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Because I think what it does, is it shows you that in being vulnerable, what happens next? You know, a lot of us are super scared of being vulnerable because we're scared of judgment, or backlash, and all of these things. But being in a place like that where you can be vulnerable and be yourself, I think it shows you that in most situations, in most cases, it won't be the end of the world after. You might find somebody judging you, but it's not going to crumble you or affect you. It's kind of like, it helps you create more self-assurance and self-confidence. 

Kim: What are you most excited about for the next this year? 

Rachel: There's a lot of really cool ideas that are floating around in my brain. A lot of things that I wasn't able to do last year. I'm excited for a lot of new classes that we're kind of working on, because that's already in the mix. I feel like last year was a really pivotal moment for Anahata's, and I'm really excited for people to... more people to come and experience an event like this without alcohol. 

Kim: Yeah. 

Rachel: That I, you know, I can never say enough things about that. I think that's a huge perk to Anahata's. 

Kim: It is. 

Rachel: Yeah, it's one of the biggest things because it allows you to feel safe because you don't know if somebody's drunk and is going to do something inappropriate. There's a lot. There's a lot of people that have contacted me, interested in joining and being a part of it, and I really think that it's going to be something really magical this year. I'm also really excited about utilizing different parts of the property that we did not get to use this past year, like all the outpost cabins. I know that those people are going to start really using those this year. And they're super cool. Like they're just, a cabin in the woods with its own lik,e two little cabins, bunks in them, and just like their own little personal fire. 
But it's like in the middle of all of the shrubbery, I guess you could say. Yeah, it's like back, if you remember, like when you walk back down to like the... I can't think of words. The garden class, or the cabin classroom, It was out in the middle of the woods. Yeah. And you can go and walk down there more, there's these little cabins, there's just like in the middle of the woods, these cabins. I think that'll be fun. Also last year, before Anahata's, we had the entire team come and we dug this huge fire pit and we have this like idea of what we want to do for that. So I'm really hoping that we can use that this year. We actually were not able to use it last year which made us very sad, but it was still a really great team-building activity, so. I'm excited for a lot. I'm excited for music this year. I just wanna be there, I miss it.

 Kim: Me too. 

Rachel: Yeah, I just, um, yeah, I just really miss it. And I do, I want to figure out a way to like warn people about the drop that happens after when they go home. 

Kim: Yeah.

Rachel: Because, you know, people get to experience community in that way and then they go back home and they don't just be like, you know. But that's why we're there. 

Kim: Suddenly you're alone again. 

Rachel: Yeah, yeah, and I think it's important for us to find ways to do that. I'm excited about all the things. 

Kim: Me too. Well thank you again, Rachel. 

Rachel: Thank you. I'm so excited. I look forward to seeing you. 

Kim: Me too! I know, it's not soon enough, but also I need the time. Because I've got to get this planned up again. 

Kim: So everybody be sure to go check out the website, AnahatasPurpose.com. The tickets are going to be available by the time this releases, so go buy yours. 

Rachel: Yes, do it. Join us. You won't regret it! 

Kim: Okay, thank you again. Bye. 

Rachel: Thank you. Bye.

Kim: Hello Phoenix, welcome to the show and thank you for talking to me. 

Phoenix: Hi, thank you for having me. 

Phoenix: Would you please tell me your most clear memory of Anahata's Purpose?

Phoenix: I believe it is hanging around the fire, and everybody singing Bohemian Rhapsody. That's just forever permanently burned into my brain. 

Kim: It was so good. It was so good. 

Phoenix: It was. It was. 

Kim: Now, what is something you wanted to bring back, but didn't, and you wish you had? Physical or mental? 

Phoenix: Honestly, physically, I wish I got one of those nifty, like, hatchet necklaces from the Warpath Archery. Like thinking back, that was really cool. But I feel like the past year I have gained so much that has really helped me be just... not even a better witch, but a better person in general. That I don't even know what more I could have wished that I took away from it. 

Kim: Perfect segue. How have you implemented what you learned from Anahata's Purpose in your life? 

Phoenix: My goodness just everywhere. Like just being there and being able to hold space for other people when they need it, just having that willingness to be open and not only let yourself be heard, but let others be heard as well. 

Kim: I know you started doing more for your business afterward. I feel like you did. 

Phoenix: Yes. Yes, I know I had intentions of going into like soldering and everything, but for some reason I went into sewing, and doing embroidery, and yeah. Currently right now my jam is making gem encrusted embroidered like bras and tops, and still into making crowns. Crowns I don't think I will ever get away from. 

Kim: Stop putting crystals in your bra when you can have them on your bra. 

Phoenix: Exactly. They're sewn on there. You don't have to worry about it when you're taking your top off and like dropping them on your toes or on the person you're about to do it with. It works so much better. 

Kim: Do you feel like it's easier to communicate more openly now? 

Phoenix: Yes. For me, yes. 

Kim: What do you think helped that? 

Phoenix: Just having a place that was willing to let me have the space, and let me actually acknowledge that I'm worth having space, is really like something I can't explain. I wish I could. 

Kim: And are you going back this year? 

Phoenix: Yes, yes I am. 

Kim: What are you most excited for? 

Phoenix: Oh my goodness. Where to begin? Like just the reunion, you know, seeing everybody else, meeting new Beans, you know, meeting other people that don't know who we are and them getting really freaked out when we ask them, "Are you a Bean?" They're like...

Kim: "I'm sorry, what?"

Phoenix:  A human bean? Yes. So, but I'm also very excited about classes. Last year I did not get to do as many because of stuff, but I'm very, very excited to get into classes and make boundaries for myself to actually go and do the classes. 

Kim: Are you vending this year? 

Phoenix: I believe so, yes. Yes, I am. Kim: Why, and I know you've described it to other people. Why do you tell people they should come? Why should people come? 

Phoenix: It is like a cool summer camp for adults, but you also get to like expand yourself too. Like it's like the whole entire circle of the deal. You got your mind, your body, and your spirit that you can enhance, just really embrace and learn and grow. 

Kim: Well, thank you for talking to me. 

Phoenix: Well, you're welcome and thank you for having me. 

Kim: And I will see you in September. 

Phoenix: Yes, I'm so excited. 

Kim: Me too! Yay. Bye. 

Phoenix: Bye. 

Kim: Hi, Colleen. Welcome to the show. 

Colleen: Hey, Kim. Thank you for having me. Happy to be here. 

Colleen: Yay. Would you please tell everybody a little bit about yourself? I know you were at Anahata's Purpose last year. Tell people about yourself and what you do, and I would like to know your most clear memory of Anahata's Purpose last year. 

Colleen: Oh, so my name is Colleen. I am the owner of Soul Magic Tarot and Healing. I am a tarot reader and educator, and I'm also a soon-to-be Reiki master. Really excited about that. So yeah, I go to Anahatas, I teach Tarot and I do a lot of one-on-one work with people through Tarot and Reiki. My clearest memory of Anahatas, I don't know, because I think the thing that I love most about Anahata's is just connection. And that is what my goal was for last year, was to really get out there and talk to a lot of people and make a lot more friends. I, I didn't really attend that many classes this year cause I was out reading and teaching and then just kind of hanging out cause I just wanted to meet people. So I think that's my clearest.   I know that's kind of a modge of events, but, um, it's just what I love about Anahata's the most, it's connecting with people. 

Kim: Yeah, I went to like a fraction of one class and that was it. Everything else was just wandering around in a daze. 

Colleen: Yeah, I think I went to like three or four classes last year, whereas the first year I attended I went to so many classes and I wanted to have that experience of Anahata's, of being in the classes and all that stuff. And then this year I was like, I just, I just want to talk to people. I just want to meet them. So, yeah. 

Kim: What is something that you wanted to bring back with you, but didn't and you wish you had?

Colleen: Like as a material item or more of a, like an emotional type thing. 

Kim: Your choice. 

Colleen: I don't know. I think I brought back everything I was looking for. I don't know. I think the only thing that I really did miss was, you know, a lot of like meditation classes and things that I really wanted to go on and take, but I don't know. I'm also the firm believer of like everything happens as it should. So I wasn't meant to be in those other spaces, even though I wanted to be them in there. So I don't know. I think I'm pretty satisfied with my Anahata's experience. 

Kim: How have you implemented what you learned from Anahata's in your life now? 

Colleen: The thing that I always find so beautiful about Anahata's is how there are so many different types of people there, but everyone there is willing to make space for everyone. You know, like when we have conversations and like- people rarely talk over each other or if they do, they're like, sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. What were you saying? And those things I just think are so special, and it, I don't know, whenever I leave Anahata's I'm like, man, like world peace is possible, if we could all kind of get on that same level. So it has taught me a lot about listening to other people, their stories, and learning how to bring that lesson home. Not that I always like talk over people or everything, but I think listening has been so much more a huge part of me, and just listening to other people's stories, making more space for people to be seen, be heard, and things like that. So, yeah. 

Kim: Do you feel like it's easier to communicate more openly now after having been in that environment that gave you a safe space to be vulnerable? 

Colleen: I feel like on my part, yes. You know, like not everybody goes to Anahata's, so they don't have that experience of kind of what I see, what happens there. But, you know, I hope that at least in my behavior sometimes that people may notice, or I could lead by example, more so of an idea. So it has been different for me, at least. 

Kim: Are you coming back this year? 

Colleen: For the big mama? I am hoping so. I think that if even if I don't come to teach at Anahata's, I still want to be a part of Anahata's. I just think it is so special. I don't know how any other way to put it, but I've been loving teaching there and opening people up to the tarot. So many people have just been like, oh, I never thought about it like that, or I never saw it like that. And that is just my biggest reward as a teacher, to give people those aha moments and to have them look at it a different way. So even if I don't come back to teaching, I don't want to assume that I will be there, but I'm hoping to be there. But I will always be a part of Anahata's, I think, in some way. 

Kim: I hope you do, because the Tarot is like this arcane strangeness that I cannot comprehend. 

Colleen: Yeah, it is so beautiful. I just think a lot of the feedback that I get from people are like, "You make it so normal and so everyday." I'm like, yeah, because it is. But, you know, kind of like a lot of people have that same point of view where they think it's this unrelatable tool, but it is. It's our lives in 78 little pictorial cards, you know? 

Kim: I have to take a class. 

Colleen: Come take a class. 

Kim: What are you most excited about?

Colleen: Right now in my life or Anahata's-wise? 

Kim:Anahata's. 

Colleen: Anahata's. I am so excited for the upcoming mini retreat. Most of my teaching experiences, I usually work with the major arcanas. I think a lot of people want to work with their big energy and their karmic life lessons that they have. But with this mini retreat, I'm actually working with the minor arcana. So if any of you out there listening that are not familiar with the minors, the majors are, like I said, they're these larger life lessons. They're the karmic patterns that we carry through lifetimes that we come into each life to help heal and resolve. The minor arcanas are the smaller day-to-day energies that, they cover the areas of the emotions and personal energy, our thoughts, and our behavior. And then we get into the court cards. For me, they're a little bit more of our personality and how we handle that or bring that forward or kind of tone it down at times. So I'm just really excited to talk about the minors for once, and go into their meetings and such. 

Kim: Well thanks for talking to me. 

Colleen: You're so welcome. 

Kim: And I will be happy to actually meet you in September hopefully. 

Colleen: Yay, hopefully. I hope to see you in class.

 Kim: Yeah, hopefully I can do something other than just cry the whole time. 

Colleen: Yeah, I know that's how it is. That's how my first Anahata's was. I was just I literally cried like for days, but I had to like go home and process and I was like "What just happened?" like...yep. But it was awesome.

Kim: Okay, well, thank you again, and I'll see you there. 

Colleen: You're so welcome. Thanks again for having me. 

Kim: Hi, Amberleigh. Welcome back. 

Amberleigh: Thank you, Kim. Thanks for having me back. 

Kim: Now we haven't talked in a long time. 

Amberleigh: It's been a while. 

Kim: But would you please tell me your most clear memory of Anahata's?

Amberleigh:  Oh gosh. I think my most clear memory of Anahata's was on the first night when Charlye and Macy came and hung out with you and Allie at my camp. And I completely geeked out like that whole evening. Yeah, I think that's definitely the clearest one. That was a good chill out period. It really was. It was really nice because it was quiet and it was just like the four of us. And actually I think there were five of us there.  I don't remember who the fifth was. 

Kim: Ruth. 

Amberleigh: Oh, it was Lera. Duh. Okay. 

Kim: Was it? 

Amberleigh: Yeah, Lera was there because there was a – 

Kim: Ruth was there too because when I got tired I left and she was like, "Did I offend you?"

Amberleigh:  Oh, who was it?

Kim:  Ruth.

Amberleigh: Oh, that's right. Okay, there were six of us there So apparently it's not as clear as I thought.

Kim:  I Just remember I got tired and I was like "I'm leaving."

Amberleigh: I do remember that. You were like "I'm out. Bye guys." Yeah, that was a fun night though, I really I really enjoyed just hanging out with everybody.

Kim: Me too. What is something you wanted to bring back but didn't, and you wish that you had? 

Amberleigh: You know, I wish I had taken more classes. The whole experience was a really big, overwhelming thing for me, because it was my first time away from my family doing something for myself. And I loved it. I had so much fun. And it really did change my life, but I just wish that I had stepped a little bit farther out of my comfort zone and learned a few more things. 

Kim: How have you implemented the things you did learn from Anahata's in your life now? 

Amberleigh: Well, shadow work for sure. I spend a lot of time with my shadow self now, you know, like me and that little gremlin, we go on walks together. Yeah, I think that's really it. I look at my prejudices and my judgments and I think, okay, you need to step back because guess what? You probably do the same thing, or you were the same thing, or you know. Like you're just seeing that in somebody else. You know? It's just the shadow work has definitely become a very important part of my life. 

Kim: Do you feel like it's easier to communicate more openly now after having been in that environment that gave you a safe space to be vulnerable? 

Amberleigh: Absolutely. And I think a lot of that is because I have gained this amazing group of women. I didn't just gain, you know, an experience. I gained essentially another family. And I can go in our group chat and just be absolutely vulnerable, and not be afraid, because I know that they're not going to judge me. And even if they do, they're not going to tell me that they're judging me. Unless it's something that I absolutely need to be judged on, then I know that they're going to be honest about it. So yeah, I definitely think my communication skills have improved immensely. 

Kim: Are you going back? 

Amberleigh: Oh my god, 100%. 100%. Like it's March 1st and I've already started my packing list and I have a running Amazon purchase list called Anahata's Purpose. Yeah, for sure. I'm definitely going back. I hope you are too. 

Kim: Of course. 

Amberleigh: Sweet. 

Kim: Yeah, I started my packing list basically the week after I got back. 

Amberleigh: Right. I should have brought this. I should have brought that. I'll put that on the list for next year. Right, I should have brought those. I should have brought those. 

Kim: Yeah, different water shoes because those pebbles got right into my sandals. 

Amberleigh: Yeah, yeah, you got to get like the water socks.  Yeah.

Kim: What are you most excited about? 

Amberleigh: Seeing my friends. You know, we've just become so very close over the Internet, you know, now. And so I'm so excited to go see them and hug them in person and just spend time with my extended family; with my coven. You know, I went to Anahata's Purpose and I came home with a coven. 

Amberleigh: Please don't hug me. 

Amberleigh: I won't hug you. Maybe. I won't hug you again, I promise. 

Kim: You know I can't run. My hips are just screwed. I can't run from you. Just please don't. 

Amberleigh: Be like, no means no, Amberleigh. 

*both laugh*

Kim: Why should people who have not been yet, why should they go this year? Because tickets are on sale now. 

Amberleigh: Because it's expanding. And I don't mean like it's growing. I mean you are expanding your horizons, your self, your being, your Psyche, and spirituality, and everything. It's just... it grows. You're like you go in with the Grinch heart and then when you leave it's three sizes. 

Kim: Oh my god.

Amberleigh:  You know what I mean? 

Kim: Yes! Holy crap!

Amberleigh:  I just cannot tell you how your capacity to love and understand and accept not only other people, but also yourself, grows in the experience of Anahata's Purpose. Just go, just go, do it. 

Kim: Seconded. Well, thank you for talking to me again. 

Amberleigh: Thank you for having me back, Kim. I really I missed your I missed your voice. 

Kim: I'm excited to see you. 

Amberleigh: Me too. I hope you well, I hope you have a great wonderful day. 

Kim: You too. Bye.

Amberleigh: Bye. 

Kim: Hi, Teresa. Welcome back. 

Theresa: Hey, Kim. Thank you for having me. 

Kim: So today we're talking about Anahata's purpose again because I want people to see how it might change someone's life if they went to it and I would like you to tell me your clearest memory of the event last year. 

Theresa: It's so hard for me to always just pick one thing. The clearest memory that I would say that I have is not only just like the bonding of the bondfire events, the bondfire I said, when I meant to say bonfire, but because of how bonding it was, it's the bondfire. *laughs* but honestly the shadow work class was just... it ripped  me apart and put me  back together all at the same time. So I just remember like after that class, all of us, like just a couple of us that barely even knew each other, just finding each other outside and giving each other hugs. And it was just a very, very special moment. And it like forged my friendship, like with Summer and with some other people. And it was just really just a very powerful moment for me. And then the rest of that day was just completely eye opening and the rest of my time there. So I would say that that was probably not just my clearest memory, but also my most fond one, and the most transformative one for me. 

Kim: What is something you wanted to bring back, but didn't and you wish you had? 

Theresa: What do you mean by that? Like something physically or like something so like that I would have learned? 

Kim: Whatever you most feel.

Theresa: Okay. Um, I wish I went into the river and picked out rocks. I don't, I don't have any rocks from that place. And which is weird for me because whenever I go someplace, I just always bring a rock home. But I felt like what was there was like really sacred, So I just wanted to leave like everything in its place. But now I wish that I had like a piece of that Campground when I wasn't, when I'm not on it, you know?

Kim: hmm I'm, that's surpr- yeah, I would think you of all people would have brought home something like that.

Theresa: And it's funny because I just moved and I have at least four boxes that are just labeled rocks. At least four. And there must, there is like at least one or two rocks in every other box as well. But my mom and her husband helped me move and they were like, another box of rocks. 

Kim: Now, I think everybody, even me who didn't take any classes, but I think everybody learned something back at the Purpose. How have you implemented what you learned from Anahata's purpose in your life now? 

Theresa: I feel like just being around all of those people, and having the experiences that I had with each of the classes that I took, and the bonds that have been formed after. I really feel like it has transformed my business in a way, even though it's not... It just really gives me more confidence in my craft. and in my skills. and in the readings that I give people. Because it's just... everything that I've learned kind of culminated into showing me how powerful I really am, and accepting that, instead of like hiding away from it.  And it kind of opened my eyes to like, my importance in this world. Because I don't really see that for myself very often. 
But since Anahata's Purpose my business has grown significantly, and I don't really take the time as much to give it the gratitude that it deserves. Not Anahata's Purpose, but my growth, because I just feel like it just opened my eyes to my worth. and that kind of transformed a lot of things for me moving forward. Like from September to now, my life is completely different. I live in a new place. I don't live, I used to live on Long Island, now I live upstate New York. I'm looking for a new job. Like I am doing psychic readings or astrology readings every week. So it's just really been opening me up a lot more, not only emotionally and spiritually, but also it opened up the doors to my business, which I think is amazing. 

Kim: Me too, that's cool.

Theresa:  Yeah, definitely. 

Kim: This is actually a question that Rachel helped me develop. So Do you feel like it's easier to communicate more openly now, after having been in that environment that gave you a safe space to be vulnerable?

Theresa:  Yes, definitely. Because like I was saying, like with my business, it gave me like the worth and the confidence that I needed to kind of push forward I'm not in the place exactly where I want to be now, but I do see how I could be in that place sooner than later.

Kim: The potential is more clear?

Theresa: Exactly. 

Kim: Are you going back this year? 

Theresa: Of course. Of course. I can't wait for her to drop the tickets. The only thing that I'm really having a hard time deciding is if I'm going to be camping or if I'm going to go back into a cabin, but I'm definitely 100% going again. 

Kim: What are you most excited about?

Theresa: Seeing everybody. I miss all of you so much. 

Kim: Me too! 

Theresa: Oh my god, I feel like I just, I was talking to everybody in the group the other day, because some of us have a group chat outside of Anahata's Purpose. And I was like, I feel like it's going to be weird if I'm not crying, because I'm just going to be so excited to see everybody, plus all the knowledge that we're going to be taking in. So if somebody sees me and I'm not crying, then there's probably something wrong. If I am crying, then I'm good. Don't worry about me. 

Kim: Why should people come this year? 

Theresa: Honestly, the bonds and the camaraderie that was built there is unmatched to anything. I absolutely love every single person that I got to know there. And as I said, we have like a big group chat with a bunch of us that we still keep in touch, you know, months later, and we still talk multiple times a day, every day. And just like the friendships that I forged there was something that was really special to me. But also, the amount of growth and transformation that I've seen over the past couple of months, and it's only been a couple of months, is really amazing. 
And it just, I don't know, everybody should just go because they should just have that experience. They should just step out of their comfort zone and experience something that they've never done before. And they'll see how much they can grow from that. I know a lot of people that, you know, were nervous to come to Anahata's, and were nervous to drive alone, that drove from like Oklahoma, Indiana, and they got there and their whole world was changed. So it doesn't matter how far you are. It doesn't matter if you're coming alone or coming with a friend. When you get there, you're gonna have this amazing sense of home, and it's going to be very life-changing. 

Kim: Well, thank you for coming on the show again. 

Theresa: I'm always welcome. I always want to come on your show. I'm like, oh, I'm always welcome on your show. Welcome me all the time. I'm always willing. I'm always willing. 

Kim: Well, I will see you in a few months.

Theresa: All right. Love you, Kim. Thank you. 

Kim: I love you too. Bye. 

Theresa: Bye. 

Kim: Hi, Breezy. Welcome to the show. 

Breezy: Howdy. I'm so glad to talk to you again. 

Kim: Yay, me too. And thank you for talking to me about Anahata's. Would you please tell me your, your most clear memory that you have? 

Breezy: Ooh,  I think this is going to be a common one. The, the nightly bean fires. Yes. Like that, that filled a void in my soul that I didn't know that I had. And so getting able to sing and talk and just be, just exist in a, in a time and space with people who are your people, even the silence was comfortable. And as somebody who constantly feels the need to fill silence, that was sort of a new experience for me.

Kim: Huh, I didn't, I haven't thought about that. I'm a very not-talky person. 

Breezy: Yeah, it takes a lot for me to be able to sit comfortably. Just because like, I feel like it's my job to entertain people. And so, and you know, no one has asked me to do that. I have taken that upon myself, often to the chagrin of the people around me. They're actually like, "Please don't, we do not need you to be entertaining us right now." But yeah, to just like sit back and watch people creating connections was really special. 

Kim: Yeah, that was, I, that's what I liked doing the whole time was just sitting and watching everybody. That was my favorite. 

Breezy: Yeah, it was really good. 

Kim: Now, what is something that you wanted to bring back but didn't and you wish you had?

Breezy: Oh man. I wish that I had found some of the little like river quartz, which sounds really like trivial, but I think about it and everybody was talking about how there's just so much natural quartz by the river where there were some classes and there was the Bean ritual. And so now I'm just like, oh, I've got to get those rocks. 

Kim: How have you implemented what you learned from Anahatas in your life now? 

Breezy: Oh man. I started doing my shadow work, which I have been putting off,  as, as one does, cause I didn't want my feelings to get hurt by my self. But one of the, actually the first class that I went to was the Healing the Inner Child With Spirit Work class. And I was super reluctant about going, but I walked away feeling much lighter and more, I guess, respectful is the word that I would use, of the things that I see about myself that are flaws, especially how they impact the people around me, and seeing like that is still part of me as a whole person. And even though it's a part that I don't like the most, it's still there. So just like having the jumpstart to start that work was really beneficial for me mentally. 

Kim: Actually, okay, I didn't know you before and then we're Facebook friends now and I've watched you change a little bit. 

Breezy: Oh, wow. It's visible. 

Kim: Yeah. So it's working. What you're doing is working and you are making changes. 

Breezy: Beautiful!

Kim:  And I don't even really know you, but I can see that you're doing it. 

Breezy: Yeah! I love that. Yeah! Everyone give me compliments!

Kim:  Do you feel like it's easier to communicate more openly now after having been in the environment that gave you such a safe space to be vulnerable? 

Breezy: Oh, yeah. Yeah. One of my fatal flaws, I guess, is that I need everyone around me to love me all day long, every day. And so actually being around people who I genuinely cared about, like them thinking that I was, you know, worthwhile? Made me realize that there are actually people that I do not care if,  if I'm for them or not. Like you are, not everyone is going to like you, and not everyone has to, and you don't have to care. So being able to sort of figure out what kind of person- I did care about their opinion of me, made me realize the people whose opinions of me I don't care about. And so, being able to be a more authentic version of myself because I'm not catering to what I think people want from me has been refreshing. 

Kim: That's super cool. 

Breezy: Yeah. It was not, not what I expected when I was just like, ah, "This podcast that I like said that I should go to this camp. I guess I'll do it!"

Kim:  I mean, that's why I went. 

Breezy: Right, right, right. So it's like, "Oh this will be fun. Maybe I'll paint with some leaves!"

Kim: Are you going back this year? 

Breezy: Yes. Yes I am. Tickets go on sale on my birthday. 

Kim: What are you most excited about? 

Breezy: Seeing all of my friends. 

Kim: Yay! Me too!

Breezy:  Yeah, I was, I was, um, I was talking to my boyfriend and I was just like, yeah, I'm ready to go back like right now. And this was back in November and he was like, it's been two months. And I was just like, I'm aware. And I want to go right now. I miss being there. 

Kim: I don't remember if I posted it in the group or to friends or what, but I was like, something about "Anahata's in September, seven years ago."

Breezy:  Right! Yeah! I've never felt the drag from September to March so intensely. March is when I sort of come back to life after being frozen solid in the dark. So like, I'm already excited for March, but now I kind of see it as like the halfway point, um, like six more months. 

Kim: Yeah, I'm, I'm fricking ready. And I have, I've not been able to think of anything else. 

Breezy: No. Yeah. I have dreams about it. 

Kim: Well, thank you for talking to me about it. And I will see you in September. 

Breezy: I'm so excited! Okay, bye! 

Kim: Bye.

Kim:  Hello, Margo. Welcome to the show. 

Margo: Hello, Kim. Thank you for having me. 

Kim: Would you please tell me your most clear memory of Anahata's Purpose?

Margo:  Okay, probably when I first arrived. I came on Friday, a lot of people came on Thursday, so I felt a little bit like I was arriving to the party late. And I had to go to the main tent to sign up, and actually Rachel, you know, the organizer of the entire retreat, greeted me and she was extremely personable right off the bat, just, you know, made me feel welcome. And she looked at me and she said, are you a Bean? And I said, yes, I am. And that immediately struck up conversation. It just, I mean, there were so many great experiences from Anahata's Purpose, but that was right at the very beginning of my arrival. And it immediately made me feel like I was completely welcome and I had made the right decision to come because I was having, you know, all the, all the anxieties associated with coming to a big retreat all by yourself for the first time. And she really just made me feel immediately at ease. 

Kim: I was glad you came. 

Margo: Yeah, me too. I was I was very glad that I came. There were a lot of moments where I was having second thoughts about doing it, and even feeling like I couldn't even pull it off, but I did and it was amazing and I'm I couldn't be happier that I followed through. 

Kim: What is something that you wanted to bring back but didn't and you wish you had? 

Margo: Probably about a hundred more crystals from the river. There was an amazing experience I had down by the river with a bunch of the women who I now consider very good friends. And we were all just having a great time wading through the water, picking up pretty stones, getting to know each other, and the ones that I did bring home, you know, I really cherish them and I've actually started to use them in my practice and if I could have, I would have filled my backpack with more. 

Kim: I put a bunch, I still have a bunch in my suitcase. 

Margo: Yeah. 

Kim: How have you implemented what you learned from Anahata's Purpose in your life now? 

Margo: One of the major takeaways was, I would say that the classes were, you know, such a fantastic experience. These were not your average social media teachers, you know, no offense to Witchtok, but you can get the feeling that you are under the tutelage of a very knowledgeable and experienced facilitator in each class, which makes it completely worth the money, aside from all the other wonderful aspects of it. But what I really took home from that was a more critical approach to how I learn and really scrutinizing the types of books that I, you know, open up and absorb and the types of people that I'm willing to, you know, take information from. And sometimes you take what you want and you leave the rest, but it really taught me to pay closer attention to who is putting information out into the world for everyone. 

Kim: Hmm. Do you feel like it's easier to communicate more openly now after having been in that environment that gave you a safe space to be vulnerable? 

Margo: Yes, absolutely. I feel like, I think a lot of people probably felt the same way. Being in a position of kind of being solitary in your spiritual path for most of your life, and even feeling like in some cases that you have to maybe hide some parts of your life, and then walking into this place where you feel completely welcome, and you feel this overwhelming sense of community, and you can finally have the conversations that you don't get to have at home and finally open up to people who understand you... it's incredible. And it's something that I didn't want to end when I got home. So I definitely started allowing more of myself to come out and get some sunlight, you know, just I'm less willing to hide those aspects of myself for the sake of not causing any, you know, awkwardness with people who might not understand me. I definitely, I feel like I'm just wasting time when I'm not being myself. And that is something that really hit me and that I took with me from Anahata's Purpose. 

Kim: What was your favorite thing? 

Margo: The sense of community. I know I've already said it, but it was just really extraordinary and something that I've longed for for a long time. You know, I grew up in a household that was Catholic, and then I grew up around people who were less tolerant of things outside of Christianity. So just feeling like, wow, these are my people. Here they are. I finally found them. You know, that was my favorite thing. And there were so many classes that I took that were amazing. You know, I had a woman's circle in the beginning of one of the days that was so incredible and just heart-opening. I had some really great – I had a great sound bath, and I took a money magic class, which was incredible. Phoenix's Mermaid Lore class was great. The WBAH recording was like so much fun, but it really, really was the sense of community and belonging. That was my absolute favorite thing.

Kim: Are you coming back this year? 

Margo: I absolutely am coming back this year, and I'm even more excited this year than I was last year because there's there's zero trepidation, and it feels more like almost attending a family reunion. And not the kind that you dread, the kind that you actually want to go to. I'm very very excited because I've developed relationships with a lot of the people that I met last year, and now we're finally just going to be able to hang out, have a great time, take more classes. And yeah, I'm definitely there. 

Kim: What are you most excited for? 

Margo: All the classes that I could not squeeze into my schedule last year. There's a lot that they offer so it's impossible to take everything that you want to take. I actually recently spoke to Rachel about that, and she suggested that I maybe make a very small list, maybe my top three classes that I absolutely don't want to miss, and then let the rest of it just flow. Because otherwise I'm going to be running around with a, like a chicken with my head cut off. So, and that's wise counsel. So I can't wait for the class schedule to come out so that I can just wrap my head around all the things that I want to absorb while I'm there. 

Kim: Well thank you for talking to me. 

Margo: Thank you so much for having me.

 Kim: I will see you in a few months. 

Margo: Yes, I can't wait, I'm excited!

Kim: Me neither!

Kim:  Welcome back, Deb. 

Deb: Thank you. 

Kim: Would you please tell me your most clear memory of Anahata's Purpose 2021? 

Deb: My most clear memory of Anahata's Purpose 2021. I would say my most clear memory was right... the very last workshop that I had taken. And it was exploring Eros. And it was a spicy class. But at the very end, they had this really beautiful sharing circle, as I mean they did in a lot of the workshops that they did, where they gave you an opportunity to come forward and be witnessed. And I usually am very, very avoidant in those sorts of situations. Like I don't have feelings, but I went first and I sat in the middle of that circle and I said things out loud. I'm getting emotional. This clear memory. I said things out loud that I've never said out loud before. I screamed at the top of my lungs while I rolled around in the dirt, and people just like, held me, metaphorically. And just held this beautiful space for me to get out these things that I had never let out before. And it was really really beautiful, and powerful, and life changing. That is my most clear memory. 

Kim: What is something you wanted to bring back but didn't and you wish that you had? 

Deb: Oh, that is a good question. 

Kim: Rachel thought of it.

Deb: Oh, she would think of that. 

Kim: She's a professional heartbreaker. 

Deb: Oh, this is okay. My answer is kind of because I brought a little bit of it back, but I didn't bring as much as I wanted to bring back, so I don't know if that counts?

Kim:  Yes. It counts.

Deb: Okay. Radical self-acceptance was what I wanted to bring back and I, I struggle really hard in social settings. I am terrified of people, because I don't think that I'm cool, or like worthy of being known. And something that I really learned there was that like, I am cool.

Kim: DEBRA. YOU ARE ONE OF THE COOLEST PEOPLE THERE.

Deb: No, no, I...

Kim: Yes you were! I swear to god! I will swear. You were one of the most influential people, to me, there. And we only spoke for like 10 minutes at the end of the thing. 

Deb: It's silly that it's so hard for me to like accept and believe that. 

Kim: Me too. That's why I'm saying it to you, because not enough people say it to me either. 

Deb: Oh, you, you are amazing. You are worthy...

Kim: We're not here for me, ma'am. We're here to talk about you. 

Deb: But I am naught but a reflection of you, Kim. 

Kim: Lord have mercy... you're talking crazy talk. Yeah, but no radical acceptance... So you want to bring that back. You want more of that. 

Deb: Yeah, radical self-acceptance. And there have been moments like the first couple of weeks when I got back, I'd say probably the first two months really, I was really on top of it. I trusted myself. I just let myself be. I let myself be who I am and was like, if you guys don't like it, like that's your loss, whatever. I am a really cool person. I'm a really nice person. I'm a really heartfelt person. And if you don't want to be a part of my existence, then that's on you and that's fine. And I meet that with love. But then as you get back into your daily life or whatever, it just starts to seep away. And I've been struggling with it recently, but I try to remember Anahata's. I would like to bring more of that. I wish I would have brought more of that and that I was just like radiating self-acceptance every day. And one also, also one other question is, I wish that I could have brought everyone home with me. 

Kim: Yes. 

Deb: Like that one just goes without saying. I literally think about Anahata's every single day. 

Kim: Me too. 

Deb: I'm just like counting down. 

Kim: How have you implemented what you learned from Anahata's purpose in your life now? 

Deb: Oh, another good question. 

Kim: These are all from Rachel, dude. 

Deb: Good job, Rachel. 

Kim: Except for the first one.

Deb: I have been much more forgiving of myself, and much more willing to dive into the deeper, darker like, roots of issues and feelings that come up. I've been more open to hearing other people's experiences of the experience, if it is involving more than one person and there's any sort of conflict. I have been... Honestly, like a lot more active in my practice, as far as it comes, like when it comes to movement and sound, I am much more open to make noise, even when I'm by myself. That was something that I really struggled with before. But now I'm downstairs in my witch room and I get real weird. I'm making these noises that are coming up from these depths of myself. I'm like, okay, yeah, this is cool. This feels good. Yeah, and just... more grace. More grace for everything. Just the life experience in general, and for people who are maybe not having the greatest time and are projecting that onto other people, and just more willingness to recognize that that has very little, if anything, to do with me. 

Kim: That's so good. Do you feel like it's easier to communicate more openly now after having been in that environment that gave you a safe space to be vulnerable? 

Deb: 100%. 100%. I don't get vulnerable very often. Maybe it's my Scorpio moon, but it's like, I just don't get vulnerable. And since Anahata's, I've been much more open. I let myself cry more. 

Kim: Good for you. 

Deb: Yeah. And I am able to express a lot of things that I just would have kept inside, and comfortably express it and know that, even though it is uncomfortable in the moment, that it is very important and it needs to be expressed. So yeah, 100%. 

Kim: Are you going back this year? 

Deb: Oh yeah, and I'm bringing people with me. I already, I'm bringing my best friend Alicia and we're trying to get it to be like a couples vacation. She wants to bring her partner and I really want to bring my partner. I think that it would be just phenomenal to go with a partner. I also just want anyone and everyone to go to Anahata's Purpose. 

Kim: What are you most excited about? 

Deb: Oh, all of it. To cry. To cry together. And just like, just everything. Literally just Just everything, literally just the entire experience. I can't even put it into words what I'm most excited about. Just that feeling of being there. It's just such a beautiful space. I'm excited for whatever workshops are gonna be there because I know whoever decides to facilitate will be there for the exact people they need to be there for. And I'll get to go to the exact workshops that I need in my life. And I'm excited to see everybody. I'm excited to hug everybody. I'm excited for all of it. All of it. 

Kim: Why should other people come who haven't been here? 

Deb: It'll change your life. Just, it'll change your life. It'll open you up to parts of yourself that you have buried so deep that you might not even know they exist, and are begging to come out of you. 

Kim: Well thank you again and I'm excited to see you.

Deb:  I'm so excited to see you. I'm so excited to see everybody. 

Kim: Bye.

Deb: Bye. 

Kim: Hi, Macy. Welcome back. 

Macy: Hello. Good to be back. 

Kim: Oh, good. Would you please tell me your most clear memory of Anahata's? 

Macy: Yes, I don't even have to think about it. And I think I might be repeating myself, but it was just such a moment in, I don't remember exactly if it was the first, I'm pretty sure it was the first fire that we did. And you and I are a bit alike as we found out in the little Bean meetup in Tucson is that when there's things like that we just both kind of sit and observe. And I just remember sitting on the ground and just looking around. And it's like in my memory, it's like a revolving camera, almost like this roving camera. And I just remember seeing all of these conversations going on, like strangers, perfect strangers. Like a lot of people came alone, you know, you're one of those. And, you know, we're just hitting it off and laughing and doing face painting and trying to take long exposure sparkler shots. And like, it was just wild. And it was just all of these things going on. I just remember sitting there just looking at all of it just being really, really touched. And it's just that is burned in, just burned into my memory. Just that feeling of like, this all came together because of this stupid, stupid show, you know?

Kim:  I can't wait for you to hear what Breezy said last night. 

Macy: Oh, God. I miss her. 

Kim: It was so funny... about why she went. 

Macy: Like, the first time? 

Kim: Yeah. No, well, why she went, because I talked to her last night, and she was like, "Yeah, this podcast I listen to told me to come, so I thought, well, why not?"

Macy: Okay. Yep. And I don't know. I just, that was a really, because, you know, we talk, Charlye and me are not good at taking compliments at all. And we don't, I don't know. It makes me feel weird a lot of the times to think about far reaching impact, because the scale of that makes me panic. And however, seeing it, you know, to where it was just, I was able to just observe this really beautiful moment of togetherness that, you know, of course, it didn't just solely result from WBAH. Like, it was at this incredible retreat. But just knowing that that was the connecting link for everybody around that specific fire, that was, it's like, I could absorb that. Like, that was a moment of, like, appreciation that was kind of, it wasn't told to me, you know, but like, I could see it and grasp it without getting uncomfortable and cringing about having to accept a compliment, if that makes sense. 

Kim: I super get it. What is something you wanted to bring back but didn't and now you wish you had? 

Macy: Like physically bring back? 

Kim: Either way, physically or metaphorically. 

Macy: Oh, so many things. So many things. Like, one, I'm very excited for us to be driving this year because we need to rent the biggest, most big, silly minivan. And I want to drive that bitch all the way up the eastern seaboard, and I can't wait to haul shit down with it. But, man, there were quite a few things that, physically, that I would have loved to have brought back. There were just little pieces of nature that I would have liked to bring and whatnot that you can't just really just, you know, we were maxed out on our carry-on bags. 

Kim: YES. 

Macy: Like, we were maxed out. Like, they weighed, I think they weighed it, and it was like 49.2 pounds or something. Like, it was done. 

Kim: Your luggage gave me anxiety.

Macy:  It was awful, dude. And so three people, and so we had a communal big bag, but it was just like all, it was too much. It was so, and our recording gear and shit... Like, they weighed, I think they weighed it, and it was like 49.2 pounds or something. Like, it was done.

Kim: Your luggage gave me anxiety.

Macy:  It was awful, dude. And so three people, and so we had a communal big bag, but it was just like all, it was too much. It was so, and our recording gear and shit. But I'm excited to be able to bring little things back. And also that meant that I couldn't really shop as much as I wanted to, you know? Like there were some really neat vendors and whatnot that were out and about, and so it was like, but that's just the material side, little things that would have been nice to bring back. But on the metaphysical, or kind of like the metaphorical, the first thing that comes to my mind is, and it's... I did bring it back, but I lost it, if that makes sense. And I just remember those like, 3 or 4 days after Anahata's Purpose to where I just felt so- one, like after the initial like, complete comatose wore off, that, I just felt so at one with other people. You know? Like it was just like a feeling. And it was just like I had spent a week or however long, five days, four days, with these wonderful people, and it broke through. By the end of that stay there, the end of that time, I didn't feel like myself anymore. I didn't feel the distance, and I didn't feel the uncomfortableness in crowds, but also just in close communication and sentimental communication, and even physical touch. Things like that were really kind of falling away as I found myself more connected with the people around me, like in this really unifying way. And I just couldn't maintain it, you know, which is to be expected, I suppose. But it's like I miss that feeling and I wish that I could bring that feeling back with me permanently. 

Kim: Yeah, that Instagram message that you sent me made me have lots of feelings. 

Macy: Which one? 

Kim: You were a little bit lit. 

Macy: *laughs* Probably. 

Kim: It was just very sweet and appreciated. 

Macy: Oh, I do remember that. Absolutely. Yes. Yes. Yeah. No, it's just I want to be that way more, you know? Like it feels good to express, and to be with people in such a way. And it doesn't come to me naturally and it never has, and I'm just typically very guarded. And I'm excited to go back this year with that realization in mind, of like knowing this is a place where that gets broken down, and can be walked through into this whole different way of interacting and feeling. And it's like, with it in mind, I want to like focus on that and practice it and like really kind of settle into it and maybe like build up exercises so when I come back I can, you know, it's hard to explain, but it's like I want to go into it knowing that that unifying sense comes over me and like just the feeling of just love of people that I don't know but like I do know at the same time. And just kind of bring that back and try to work on incorporating that as much as I can in my regular life. And because I'm a physical person, like I'm not good at video communication. I'm not good at, and I know there's these Marco groups and it's like, but I just don't, I'm not good at it. I won't keep up with it. I just, I get overwhelmed by it. And so it's like, I don't, I feel like I lose that connection, but I want I want to work on remembering that it's still there no matter what. 

Kim: This is a good segue because the next question is, how have you implemented what you learned from Anahata's in your life now? 

Macy: I... man, that was... I learned a lot, I think, about myself. Which is to be expected. But a lot of the learning came from the processing weeks after. I feel like I simmered on things for a long time, because I am guarded and I'm less likely to have this amazing emotional breakthrough at something like that. I'm going to experience and then have an emotional breakthrough at home on my own terms, probably. And that's the kind of things that I would have, you know, because I joke a lot about having this really closed off heart chakra, you know. And it did just kind of make me realize that, like, that's kind of true, but it's also largely not. Like, I felt so much that week, and I felt freely, you know. Like, of course, like, the first day was a little touchy, because also that was kind of my first foray back into people. A lot of people's first foray back into people again, you know. 
But it, I don't know, like it made me realize that I do feel a lot, and I do have... it's not as closed off I feel like as I thought that it was. It's just that in telling myself over and over again that it is, I'm not allowing myself to live with it open. And I've worked on that a lot, you know, like I've started leaning because, and this is purely because of Anahata's Purpose, I've started leaning into things that make me emotional. And like, because that's something I usually, you know, I recoil, like I, you can't see me, but I physically, like, when I said like the word, I just kind of backed up, you know, it's not for me, but I'm working on that because it's just not always healthy, you know, like that's not always, it's not a badge of honor, you know? 
So, it's, and things that aren't even like super duper serious or like,  if I'm feeling a certain way, like I need to read this super sad thing to make me cry. Not even that. Like if I'm feeling upset and I just feel like a release would make me feel better, I'll put on Queer Eye and I'll bawl my eyes out, because that's what happens. Queer Eye makes me cry my eyes out, and I can't really explain. It's just very touching, and that's what I'll do. You know, and it's not necessarily like serious in the sense of like I'm making my, I'm reading, I'm listening to sad music to make myself cry, but it's the crying nonetheless.And like I did a post about it on Patreon about reading Bridges in Madison County, which made me... god. I cried for an hour, maybe more. It was gut wrenching. 
But afterwards, I felt fantastic. And so I've just been leaning into things like that, that aren't miserable experiences. I like to read, you know, and it's like, I need to sometimes let myself have an afternoon on the couch to just watch TV. I don't, you know, so it's like I've been trying that and I found that I'm much more emotionally fluid, I guess you can say, in the practice and it's like taking time but it's like I am trying to train my body that it's okay to cry and in doing so I'm tricking it to crying about other people first, you know, so it's like it's a sneaky thing. So it's like, okay, cry about these touching stories, you know, things that people are going through or cry over this sad book. That's fine. That's not you. It's fine. It's in. And then it's like, I'm, my hope is, is I'm, I'm easing myself into just crying for myself, and then it will all be fixed.

Kim: *laughter*  And so, but anyway, all of that came from Anahata's, which is just like, it's not cool to be so closed up. It's just, it's not, you know, it's healthy to open up. And I don't know. I just, I saw a lot of release come from a lot of people, and just people there journaling, and processing, and feeling, what was going on there. And that's something I've really tried to not fear, like shy away from... welling emotion. 

Kim: Do you feel like it's easier to communicate more openly now after having been in that environment that gave you a safe space to be vulnerable?

Macy: Yes, like 100%. And I've noticed it even with like communicating with Hunter. And we're very open in our communication anyway, but I can still be a bit analytical, I guess, sometimes in situations that probably could use an emotional hand. And, you know, because I am by nature like a fixer. That's what I like to do, you know? And so it's like I don't like to wallow in emotion. So I always joke like if you're sad, like go to the shoulder, like the crying shoulder friend, and then come to me and we'll make a plan of recovery, like a plan of like getting out of this, you know? And but that's, there needs to be balance, you know? And just experiencing the flow of emotion, like that whole place, it really did feel like the vibrations of it were so much to where we did kind of blip out of this reality for a few days. Cause I remember driving out of that place being like, "What the fuck is wrong with us?" 
Like, this is so, it was weird, like driving out of it, the inner, it was just like a whole, it was coming back to reality.And so I've tried to just be more understanding, you know, just in general, and trying to be more compassionate. And it's like I can, I feel compassionate on the inside, but sometimes that compassion will get quelled down by solution, you know, and it's like, well, but we could do this. And, you know, and it's like, instead of like dealing in like the gentle types of like situations that could use like a nice gentle hand, I'm just usually going out like immediately into like, well, let's fix this or let's solve this or it could be this situation, but it's not. So there's that, you know, like the bullshit that doesn't really help in the moment. 
And so that was nice and it was nice to see people open up, and also nice to see people who were just very good at receiving that kind of energy from people who are opening up. And just, I don't know. That environment, I've thought it's made me just really focus this past year, these past months, on not worrying so much about the future of the conversation and the future, just be in the moment and communicate in the moment openly. And like if somebody is in a space, it doesn't always mean that they need to be yanked out of it, just because I don't like being in that space. 

Kim. Oooh.

Macy: If that makes sense. Yeah. 

Kim: And obviously you are going back this year because you said you're renting a giant van. 

Macy: Oh hell yeah dude. I, so like the Tucson trip was kind of the test run. so, that was a 15, almost 16-hour drive to Tucson. And Anahatas will be like 21. So, it's like, but all things considered, it was not that bad. It was pretty great, you know, and like we had a good time. And also, too, like it will be broken up with Anahata's. It's not getting broken up with hotel rooms,you know. It's going to have healthy food. And you know, because that's a big part of it. I'm a super like routine oriented gal. 
And when I break my routine, I'm also a Vata as I'm learning in Ayurveda. It's even more so for Vata. It's like when you disrupt routine, it just makes you feel bad. And so it's like I do, I'm going to plan, I'm going to bring, I'm going to bring my fucking Yakults, for one thing. But it's like I'm going to, I'm going to bring some... but also we have like this cleansing, wonderful retreat that we can go out to like prepare us for the long drive back to where it's like, we will be in a very comfortable cared for space. We're going to be nourished. Our energies are going to be cleansed. And it's like, who cares if there's a fucking 22 hour drive back? I don't care. Whatever. We're fine. 

Kim: What are you most excited about? 

Macy: I, oh, wow. You know, it's silly. There's so, the first thing that came to my mind, and there's a lot of things, and I'll say a few. I feel, this is so weird being interviewed. I feel like I'm just talking and talking and talking and talking. So tell me if I need to shut up at any point. But I, the first thing that came to my mind when you asked that question was like the cafeteria. I loved it. I loved the meeting for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and it was like you were hungry by that point because your energies were just really high and everything, you know, and it was just like everybody would get together and sit at lunch tables and just talk, and then once lunch was over, break off into classes, but you'd come back. I just really loved that. And I loved the community aspect of eating together like that. And it wasn't set in stone and, you know, people would come and go, there was windows and whatnot, but there was always people. There were always Beans in the caf, always. And I just really liked that. 

Kim: And we didn't always sit with the same people. 

Macy: No. 

Kim: That was nice. 

Macy: Yeah. It was not cliquey. It was just like a mixing of people and I loved that so much. I can't wait to walk back down into that river. I can't wait for that and climb that big, beautiful boulder and just sit there for a minute and say hello to the river again. Man, I just can't wait. You know, I can't wait to walk around that place. That was something that I liked to do in the mornings and I would get like a cup of that sweet ass coffee, and I would just stroll around. And I get up early so a lot of times it was still kind of not super awake yet, you know, and that was really nice. And you could see the other early risers kind of getting up and around, and the energy of the place starting to come back to life again. But I think largely it's the fires. I'm ready for that. I'm ready to come together in that way again in the bean can up on that little mountain top part of the camp place. I can't think of the word right now. 

Kim: Sky Hill.

Macy: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah and It was that was always a great place to walk up to there were always people just kind of out and about up there and I just I loved that. And like, everybody, it would just be like an announcement,  like, "Bean fire, 8 p.m., tonight!" You know, and it was just like, everybody would show up, and I just, that was fantastic. And I don't have a good memory, but I do have forever burned in, seared in memories from those fires. And I just, I can't wait for that again. 

Kim: What was interesting about the fires for me is that non-Beans started coming.
 Macy: Yeah, and then they'd come to the second one. 

Kim: Yeah. 

Macy: Because it was fucking lit up there. 

Kim: That was cool. 

Macy: Yeah, and it was neat, and I was so glad, like, they felt welcome, you know? 

Kim: I bet they're Beans now. 

Macy: Oh, yeah, I mean, how can you not be? Like, wander up on this, like, group of people, there's all kinds of weird shit going on, and everybody's singing Bohemian Rhapsody. Like, it's just, I was glad to see that people were, and like, they came up and were included. People would just grab them and like, you'd just look and they were talking to someone. And it was just this, it was non-exclusive and I just love that so much because as someone who is, I lost a lot of my just general like, confidence skills and navigating with strangers. I used to be really good at it. But I'm not anymore, after two years of not seeing anyone at all other than my husband and my dogs. And so it's just like it was nice to see that nobody has to be afraid to come up to a place like that, as long as it's like – and really anywhere. It was a very accepting place. But up there, you'd walk up and you were just already in a conversation. And you were in it and you were accepted. It didn't matter if you listened to the show or not. 

Kim: Here's a s'mores. 

Macy: Yeah, take this. You know what? It was just great. I loved the energy of that because it completely blew away the adolescent fear that you get, even with camp. Camp can be terrifying. And this is a camp-like environment, but it wasn't cliquey. It wasn't cliquey at all. And that just made me really happy to see that. 

Kim: Last question. Why should people go buy a ticket right now? 

Macy: Oh man, that's tough because there's a bunch, and it's, I think everyone has a reason, you know? Like just ones that can come off the top of my head. Like, it helped me largely reacquaint myself back with humanity. After two years, or, you know, give or take, of just seeing only the bad that humanity had to offer every day over and over and over again in the years that were 2020 and 2021, like, I was reminded that that's not everything. And if anything, that's the minority. And there's, you can just go to this place. It is, it helped me trust people again, because it helped me remember that these are out there, these people are out there, and there's a lot of them. And you can just show up and you can be accepted. And so that's a big one. Like if you're kind of, one, if you're just afraid to enter into social situations like that, or, you know, honestly, like if you even have any trauma from camp that was just terrible because camp is cliquey, it's not like that. 
But it's the opposite, you know. So it can help you if you have – it was the biggest thing for me, just the fear of kind of reacquainting back into my fellow man, my fellow humans. So that was a big part. But also, too, if you want, there is spiritual growth to be had there. And I can't say what it will be for every individual, because it's going to be different. But I saw people change in four days. I saw it. Like just the difference between conversations that I had with like, you know, like listeners of ours, like how they, how they communicated and carried themselves and everything, how that transformed in a matter of days to where they, I just saw people blossom. And from what I can tell, they're still blossomed. 
And that's what you get there. You're going to blossom there. And it's... I can't really say how, because everybody again has their own specific reason for going. But you will blossom in some way, and it doesn't just completely disappear, you know? again like I was saying with working on trying to keep my, like more my emotional channels open, and I carried that with me, you know?  And it's you will keep pieces of that that you gain and that you turn into and what you learn, it'll come back with you, and It it will change you, and it'll change you for the better. I don't I don't see how it couldn't, I really don't.

Kim:  Well, thank you for talking to me again.

Macy: You're welcome.

Kim:  I am excited to see you again in September. 

Macy: Yes, it's gonna be here before we know it. 

Kim: I know.

Macy: It's coming. I can't wait. I cannot wait. 

Kim: Me neither. 

Macy: So I will see you there. Bye. 

Kim: Bye. Hey, thanks for listening to this episode of Your Average Witch. You can find us all around the internet on Instagram at Your Average Witch Podcast, Twitter at Average Witch Pod, Facebook at Facebook.com/YourAverageWitchPodcast, at YourAverageWitch.com, and at your favorite podcast service. Want to help the podcast grow? Leave a review. You can review us on Amazon and Apple Podcasts, and now you can rate us on Spotify. You just might hear your review read at the end of the next episode. To rate Your Average Witch on Spotify, click the home key, click on Your Average Witch Podcast, and then leave a rating. You can also support the show by going to patreon.com/cleverkinscurios. If you'd like to recommend someone for the podcast, like to be on it yourself, or if you'd like to advertise on the podcast, send an email to youraveragewitchpodcast at gmail.com. Thanks for listening and I'll see you when the moon changes.